Anyone Tired of Dating?
Anyone tired of online dating? I have heard that over 40 million
people in the USA alone will log onto an online dating or
matchmaking website during the course of a year. You would think
with that many single people it would be like shooting ducks in
a barrel.. Wrong! As a 49 year old man, with a 16 year old son,
being single has been an absolute nightmare to say the least.
The only thing worse than online dating is in- person dating.
All joking aside, The fact of the matter is that at my age I am
too old to go the bars and nightclubs filled with men and women
young enough to be my children. Even if I did go out, what would
be the point? Time and maturity (and wrinkles and gray hair)
have made that not an appealing option. I have another problem.
I am self-employed, and work out of my home which is very
isolated. I don?t even have to get dressed let alone dressed up.
Moreover, I am incurably shy. I was the one that made the girl
ask me to dance in high school and even then tried to get out of
it.
On the good side, I have diagnosed the problems pretty well.
The internet craze and subsequent birth of online dating in
early 1999, was like a Godsend. For me it was a no-brainer. I
had nothing to lose, except possibly $19.95 which could be
refundable if I were a totally dissatisfied client. At that time
I had just filed for divorce and was separated so I joined one
of the leading dating sites. It was very easy to join, I simply
filled out a questionnaire about my age, eye and hair color,
height, weight, body type etc. At that time, I was actually
truthful about my age which was 42. I also wrote a profile about
my hobbies, work, interests and also the qualities I wanted in a
woman. I had a fairly recent picture which I scanned and then
paid the money for a 30 day trial. Literally within minutes I
started receiving e-mails from women filled with compliments and
interest in getting to know me better. I remember thinking that
my dating worries were finally over. I was so excited I started
thinking about marriage, children, white picket fence..and
walking hand in hand into the sunset together. Here I was
waiting for beautiful, single, sexy women to contact me without
even leaving my home. It was unbelievable. That first couple of
weeks were unforgettable. I was getting about ten e-mails a day
from otherwise unattainable women living within just a few miles
of my home. They were the most flattering messages I had ever
seen. Some wanted to talk immediately and gave their numbers,
others actually wanted to meet in person that day! My divorce
wasn?t even final yet! I was overwhelmed with all the attention
and adoration. I had not had this many women after me since the
time I accidentally walked into the girls bathroom in grade
school.
As with most of us when learning a new trade, I made many
blunders along the way. For one thing, I never kept files or any
sort of managed dating notes about all the conversations and
e-mail exchanges. I would jot down numbers and names on pieces
of scrap paper sitting next to the pile of papers on my messy
desktop. I was attempting to just shoot from the hip and see how
things went. Being memory challenged did not help either. I was
constantly losing names, numbers, and appointments. The problem
was I had too many women and not enough time. I was never the
type of guy that juggled women well, and I usually got caught if
I ever did anything worth getting caught over. I also have a
morality streak which does not allow me to lie to a person who I
know is trusting me. What I did have in my favor was some sales
genes inherited from my father, ample charm, and I cleaned up
pretty good. In the beginning due to the stigma attached to
?lonely hearts clubs? I decided to keep this new thing a secret
and just see if in fact I could actually find true love. If I
did find love I could make a pact to fabricate a good story as
to how we met and no one would be the wiser.
After coming off the pink cloud I decided that even as shy as I
was, this was too good an opportunity to pass up so I started
meeting people within a few weeks of joining. After talking on
the phone, I made plans with a woman to meet at a nearby coffee
house. I remember I had seen her photo which was quite
attractive but I asked her what she would wear so I would not
need to look foolish as I entered the place. As I come into the
coffeehouse, I see my date out of the corner of my eye sitting
there waiting for me. She was huge! She saw me right away and
immediately greeted me with a hug. During our conversation she
said she had just broken up with her boyfriend and put on some
weight under the stress. Needless to say I was a little
disappointed but decided that maybe the rest would be better.
They were not.
One of the first words I learned about was ?chemistry?. This
apparently, is what every single woman MUST feel in order to
continue in a romantic path. In other words, if she does not
feel ?chemistry? within seconds of meeting you, you are out of
luck. I have heard several different definitions of the word,
but generally it has nothing to do with science. Here is
Webster?s definition: a strong mutual attraction, attachment, or
sympathy