Getting the Most Out of Speed Dating Events
Speed dating is today's ingenious answer to today's
fast-paced life. Hey, if we have come to an age where you can
talk to somebody in 'real-time' across the globe through the
Internet then surely 'dating' several people in one night was
not far behind right?
Speed dating is now a worldwide phenomenon; the answer to every
hectic single's fervent wish. You see, with speed dating, there
need not be a predicament between dedication to work and
investing time in finding a lifetime partner. Everybody
participating in a speed dating event knows that time is of the
essence and that one has to balance that sensitive scale between
putting his or her best foot forward and coming across as honest
and earnest. Yes folks, all that in 3, 5 or 7 minutes (depending
on your state).
Once you decide to get involved in speed dating events, don't go
wistfully saying "I'll just go for the heck of it". If you are
busy enough that you wish to go speed dating, then prepare
enough to make the most of it! If you go to speed dating events
without effort or preparation, you may be defeating the purpose
of the exercise, which is to show the best YOU, and to find your
perfect match in the process. The add-on benefit is having a
time-saving technique through this creative mechanism. If you
are not yet familiar with speed dating, let me run you through
its origin and mechanics.
Speed dating is a technique originating from the Jewish, which
aimed to help pair up their singles in marriage. In a speed
dating event, you will be asked by the dating service provider
to go to a pre-arranged venue. You proceed to your first date in
a table where you are allowed to talk for a fixed amount of
minutes. After this time, you are given the signal to go to
another table where you will have the chance to talk to another
partner or 'date', again for the same number of minutes. All
things happen in a flash so those minutes are golden!
So how do you prepare? Satisfy the senses.
Be attractive.
Nobody denies that real beauty is not just all about clothes and
figures. But a little dressing never hurt anybody either. Dress
attractively during speed dates, but not too attractively to the
point that you are already a distraction. Once you have made
yourself up for the event, do a quick test by checking if your
get-up and your accessories are too distracting. Remember, make
him/her look at your face. Eye contact is one of the surest ways
to convey both sincerity (in what you say) and interest (in
him/her).
For men, items that convey security and authority are good. You
may want to wear a decent suit or watch, or bring along your
mobile or other electronic gadgets (but do put these in silent
mode!). Wear colors that project status such as black, gray,
navy blue or brown. These colors may not be too advisable for
women. To project approachability, wear more toned down earth
colors, or those which are light or pastel shades. As a woman,
you need not establish financial security or your capacity of
being a good provider. You just need to create an impression of
approachability at first. Believe me, you may threaten or even
scare away your date by your manner of dressing.
Talk and listen.
Here, we talk about appropriate topics during speed dating
events. There are two simple rules: (1) highlight your strengths
and (2) downplay your weaknesses. Bear in mind that you only
have a couple of minutes to create a positive impression on your
date. You will not carry this out successfully by narrating how
miserable your past was, how tragically your parents divorced
before when you were two years old, how you were cheated by your
past girlfriends or how you are desperately trying to find a
better paying job. Talk about positive things, brilliant ideas,
and sensible issues.
Listen to your date! Don't forget that you are BOTH looking for
the same thing tonight - a potential partner. So don't be so
full of yourself that you don't give your date enough minutes to
talk. Don't forget that you too need to decide whether you want
to see this person again, so do pay attention to what your date
has to say.
To promote a positive atmosphere, start off by establishing
commonalities. Start with common hobbies or pastimes and delve
just a bit deeper by asking about values and goals. Your date
will understand as you do only have a couple of minutes!
Cue in to your date.
Sometimes, nothing speaks louder than the little things one does
during a date, yes, those non-verbal cues that you send to or
receive from your date. According to Patti Wood, a nationally
respected body language expert, you want to project that you are
a "safe" and approachable target. Women then should not take up
a lot of space because this connotes power and authority. The
contrary is applicable for men. Wear bulky and conservative
clothing to project power and status.
Some don'ts: don't chew gum, ice or fingernails (this may be a
sign of anxiety or frustration), fold your arms (which may
signify being unapproachable). Do nod and lean forward when your
partner is talking. These signify interest and enthusiasm in
what your partner is saying. And of course, smile. It's a
universal, positive cue.
One last fact that may motivate you to make your first
impression a good one. In speed dating, you only have four
seconds to make an impact on the other person as someone he or
she may want to date again (and you think 7 minutes was too
short). Go on, never get tired of the search and the chase. Who
knows? The person on the next table might just be The One.