Art of Flirting
Flirting is the way most people determine whether or not a
member of the opposite sex is interested in them. Following is a
quick outline on how you should go about the complex, sometimes
fun, sometimes not so fun, task of flirting. It all beings with
your approach.
The Approach
One person approaches the other. They move into closer physical
proximity. This much is clear: NO approach equals NO possibility
of initiating contact. You must approach!
Example: A woman sits down next to a man in a coffee shop, or a
man stands near a woman in a dance club. This is the first step.
Once you approach, you begin looking for the signs.
The Signs
The person who has been approached will always signal the
other's presence in some way...a sign. This signal is not like a
train whistle, however, more a subtle body language which you
can learn to recognize. For example, he or she simply may look
up, move over to make room, nod slightly, or signal with a
glancing eye contact. A display of total obliviousness to the
one who is approaching generally indicates lack of interest
altogether. Don't be discouraged. But if the one you approached
shows absolutely no interest, then it's time to re-group and try
again. But let's say the approach works. You have your positive
acknowledgement, now what? Time to talk
The Verbal Exchange
The two people may then engage in a mild verbal exchange about
impersonal, unimportant matters such as the weather or the scene
around them. The key word here is MILD. This is the classic
place for the clever "line," but cleverness is not required. At
this point, a verbal exchange is not for the purpose of sharing
valuable insights about life or determining philosophical
compatibility. It is just a vehicle to further the developing
contact. Examples: Verbal overtures might include anything from
"please pass the pickles" to "your looking great tonight", to
"have you seen the waitress?". Without some form of verbal
response, it is highly unlikely that the next step will occur.
Let's say all is going as planned. Time for body language.
Body Language
Over a period of time, a couple that has begun to talk may also
begin to orient themselves physically to one another, to turn
toward one another until, if all is goes well, they are fully
facing one another. This is your goal. This step can take
minutes or hours . . . or weeks or months . . . to achieve. Yet,
without this physical reorientation toward one another, not very
much can ever happen, so give up on people who turn their back
toward you for long periods of time! But if they don't...
Touching
The woman or the man (most often the woman) touches the other in
a light, fleeting way. Examples: A couple might accidentally
brush their hands against one another while reaching for a
drink, or the woman might pat the man on the arm in the middle
of a shared joke. The exchange of very subtle, almost glancing
touches may continue for some while, and if all goes well, can
escalate into the casual affections shown by couples who are
dating. If you've reached this point, then flirting has now
become the beginning of a relationship. The Art of Flirting
should always end with the beginning of a relationship. Now get
out there and flirt. The Art of Flirting is really the Art of
making first contact. You only have one shot at making a great
first impression. By following some of the guidelines we've
established in this article, you should now be equipped to
locate, approach, and ascertain whether or not your subtle
flirting has opened the doors to a new and exciting
relationship.