How to Tell If Your Date is Really Gay
So you've decided to go out, enjoy and indulge in some
active gay dating. It is a known fact that one of the most
awkward situations in gay dating is when you can't tell whether
your friend is dating material or just that... a friend.
The best thing to do is to heighten your gaydar (read: gay
radar). So does this "sixth sense" come in handy when dating? Of
course. You would not want to be in those extremely embarrassing
revelations that happen to countless gay men and unsuspecting
women right? Ever uttered the lines Oh, sorry I thought you
were...or I did not have a clue that you are... or Wow, I really
thought you were into me...? If you have, then it's time to
sharpen your gaydar. To do this, you must be keenly familiar
with gay life, whether this be the gay look, gay speak, gay
sport, and others. Do note that the following tips are not 100%
foolproof. There are always exceptions to the rule and there IS
still a chance that that sweaty (and somewhat smelly) hunk
across the street is indeed dating material.
Gay Look. Clothing-wise, gays do not really differ much from
straight men. Both value their physical appearance and demeanor
so seeing a well-groomed and freshly bathed guy does not mean
he's gay. Now you might say that fingernail paint is surely a
telltale sign that he's gay right? Well, not quite, unless of
course you think soccer superstar (ok, God to some) David
Beckham is gay! Men like Beckham are what people call
metrosexuals, that is, men that are straight yet embody the
heightened aesthetic sense often associated with certain types
of gay men. They are simply very urban straight men who are in
touch with their feminine side.
So, what IS the gay look? Don't just go by the clothes. See how
he 'reacts' to his clothes or environment. A guy with fingernail
paint may be 'cool' but having his painted twinkie up in the air
when he holds his glass to sip a drink is a flag shouting 'gay'!
Also, check out the overall look. Clean clothes are ok but,
super groomed hair, white socks gleaming shoes and a ready
handkerchief too? Perfume also tells a lot. Many straight men go
for the clean and neat look but they wouldn't be caught dead
using COCO Channel no. 5.
Gayspeak. Examine your conversation with your date. Does he use
subtle communication? For example, does he use genderless
pronouns to describe a partner? Other features of speech
distinguish gay men, these include stressed pronunciation, a
wide pitch range, breathy tones, the use (or misuse) of long s
and z's when talking, and the pronunciation of t and d as ts and
dz. Moreover, they frequently engage in ritual insults, irony,
sarcasm, sexual and erotic reference, women-related imagery and
metaphor.
Gay people also have their own vocabulary, in fact they are
famous for it! It's a distinct feature of being gay. In The
Queen's Vernacular, homosexuals have been shown to use a wide
array of specialized words used to refer to sexual relationships
(such as partner) and non-sexual ones (for example, sister),
behavior (e.g., bull dyke), age (e.g., chicken), places (e.g.,
tearoom), sexual identity (for example, gay, lesbian, queer),
and so forth.
The Gay Gym Culture. For numerous gay men who are not infected
by the AIDS virus, being actively involved in physical activity
is their way of announcing to the world that they are as healthy
as ever. Of course going to the gym does not mean he's gay but
does he have multiple gym memberships? This may be a telltale
sign as gays delight not only on a great workout but on seeing
all those 'hunks' around them.
Other Telltale Signs. What other telltale signs could you look
out for that may suggest he is gay? The following are some
helpful tips: .
* His CD collection includes Pet Shop Boys, Village People, and
Patsy Cline. Count in ABBA, Cher, and Cyndi Lauper. * His wallet
contains membership cards to 3 different gyms/health clubs. *
When he mows his lawn, he wears a mesh tank-top, tattered denim
shorts, and Doc Martins. * His magazine subscriptions include
Men's Health, Men's Fitness, and Martha Stewart Living. * In the
locker room, you notice his perfect tan, multiple body piercing,
highlighted hair, and his handiwork with a razor down there. *
He never excelled in sports except certain water sports. * He
prefers tiki torches and the gold candelabra on the picnic table
at your camping date. * He wears super-tight, white-ribbed
T-shirts or anything that shows his nipples. * You've seen him
sit next to another guy in close settings, such as a movie house
or an airplane, that is, even if there are spare seats around. *
You've seen him open the car door for another man before he gets
in himself. * He uses conditioner and buys designer brand
shampoo. * You find out that he uses dry skin lotion, expensive
slippers and makes his bed. * He has an artdeco Kleenex
dispenser, more pictures of Marilyn Monroe than you can count,
more than two cappuccino machines in the kitchen, and weird
pets. * His shoes are always polished. * His favorite super hero
is Wonder Woman.