How Do You Tell Him/Her They Are Not The One?
You met online and had a great email exchange for a week. Then
you called her and the two of you really clicked. You (mentally)
built up the potential for a real relationship with her as you
agreed to get together for that first date. The day came, you
met for lunch, and it went downhill from there. She looked
"different" than you had expected or remembered, the
conversation felt strained and/or you were uncomfortable and
anxious to get it over with. As the date came to a close and she
told you she had a nice time, you were at a loss for words. What
should you have said? After all, you didn't want to hurt her
feelings....
This scenario plays itself out frequently in the meeting and
dating world. Boy meets girl in cyber space, on a chance
encounter or perhaps through mutual friends. Both people have an
interest in going out and getting to know each other. However,
after one or more dates, one individual feels good about their
connection and the other decides the chemistry just isn't right.
When this happens, the person who is not interested in pursuing
the relationship is left to make a choice of how (if) to tell
the other person that they are not "the one."
Let me begin with a list of (all too common) examples that
illustrate what you should never do: