How Do You Tell Him/Her They Are Not The One?

You met online and had a great email exchange for a week. Then you called her and the two of you really clicked. You (mentally) built up the potential for a real relationship with her as you agreed to get together for that first date. The day came, you met for lunch, and it went downhill from there. She looked "different" than you had expected or remembered, the conversation felt strained and/or you were uncomfortable and anxious to get it over with. As the date came to a close and she told you she had a nice time, you were at a loss for words. What should you have said? After all, you didn't want to hurt her feelings.... This scenario plays itself out frequently in the meeting and dating world. Boy meets girl in cyber space, on a chance encounter or perhaps through mutual friends. Both people have an interest in going out and getting to know each other. However, after one or more dates, one individual feels good about their connection and the other decides the chemistry just isn't right. When this happens, the person who is not interested in pursuing the relationship is left to make a choice of how (if) to tell the other person that they are not "the one." Let me begin with a list of (all too common) examples that illustrate what you should never do: