The ABC's of Choosing a Suitable Partner Online
Do you want to know the truth about any online Hotty? Follow
these three steps and you will!
Wouldn't you love to correspond with only online prospects that
met your requirements? Think that's impossible to do before you
meet them? It's not impossible! You can choose suitable dates
before you meet them. By following these three steps you'll be
able to read a prospect's profile and read between the lines.
You'll be able to get a reading on how they measure up on
qualities that are important to you and qualities that are
absolutely deal breakers.
Here's what you need to do. A. Know What You Want
1. You need to figure out exactly what you want out of a
partner. I am always amazed to discover how many of my clients
don't know what they want. What are the three absolute must
haves for your potential mate?
It's usually best to choose internal qualities versus external
qualities. For example, "slim" is an external quality--it can
come or go depending on physical mobility, hormones, medications
etc. "Fitness oriented" is an internal and therefore immutable
quality. Regardless of the circumstances, this person will
strive to be fit. Another example is affluent which depends upon
circumstances such as the stock market, or the job market, or
other possible slings and arrows. Industrious, on the other
hand, is an internal immutable quality. Here's a list of some
positive qualities (it is by no means exhaustive): a. Honest b.
Transparent c. Generous d. Compassionate e. Expressive f.
Intelligent g. Courageous h. Creative i. Loyal j. Faithful k.
Industrious l. Frugal m. Adventurous n. Determined o. Easy going
p. Good sense of humor q. Integritous r. Secure
2. Now come up with three deal breakers. You can turn any of the
above into a deal breaker by making it the negative, e.g.,
unfaithful, no integrity, lazy (as opposed to industrious),
spendthrift, unimaginative, Here's a non-exhaustive list of
negative qualities, or qualities that may make it hard to be
with someone... a. Addicted b. Self-absorbed c. Lazy d. Selfish
e. Angry f. Non-expressive g. Rigid h. Controlling i. Insecure
j. Immoral k. Unfaithful l. Opportunistic m. Jealous n.
Explosive o. Weak p. Fearful q. Uncaring r. Rude s. Withholding
B. Find (Intuit) the Qualities You've Identified. Go online and
browse through random profiles. The randomness is VERY important
because it's easier to build up your intuition muscle when
you're not attached to the outcome. Capisce?
1. Find some one with a MUST HAVE quality. Read as many profiles
as you need to until you find at least one that says integrity
to you (an example of a 'must have'). You do not have to be the
least bit attracted to this person! You just have to be able to
read the profile and have it resonate integrity through and
through. Try rating it on a scale of 1 - 10. (It should probably
be up there at 8.5 and above to qualify as an "I have this
quality". If this is difficult for you, go to my website,
www.empowermentdating.com to get some more tips! Or ask a friend
to help you.
2. Find someone with one of your MUST NOT HAVE qualities. This
could be harder because prospects do not describe in detail
their bad points! None-the-less, it is possible. Just keep
reading until you come to someone's profile who says Unreliable
between the lines.
C. Start Rating Those Prospects!
Now comes the fun part. Go to an appealing prospect. Take each
of the three qualities and rate this person on each of these
qualities. Just try and use your intuition (you have it, you
just may have to learn how to access it). For example, let's say
that you wanted your prospective partner to be integritous,
industrious, and faithful. Just put a number (1 -10) next to
each one. The key in doing this exercise is to NOT THINK TOO
hard about it. This is also a really good time to get someone
else's feedback (once again you can go to my website and take
advantage of a great collaborative offer!) or call a friend.
You may not be able to get a reading on every quality in every
prospect. This can happen for a variety of reasons: * The online
dating service's questions don't allow for full expression. *
The quality in question is not hugely important to the prospect.
* The prospect is ambivalent about the quality in question
(i.e., knows it's important to be faithful, but is too scared to
commit to just one person). * Some people are less transparent
than others.