Before You Even Think About Dating Again.
Are you missing out? Standing on the sidelines while everyone
else is having fun? Is life passing you by? Perhaps your ego has
been dented, your heart broken. You may have been hurting for
some time if you have split from your partner. Young or old, it
doesn't matter the hurt and pain are just as real. If you have
teenagers or older children who are going through a breakup,
remember just because they are young doesn't make the hurt any
less or easier to deal with. As a parent you might find it
amusing, but for your child it's the end of the world, at least
for now.
The good thing is time heals all and sooner or later we emerge
from our hurt stronger, hopefully better for it. Some may come
through feeling bitter, somehow we have to learn to deal with
our bitterness and move on. A potential future partner can spot
bitterness and is likely to run in the opposite direction.
Regardless sooner or later you are going to want to start dating
again; it's a natural thing for a man or woman to seek out a
mate.
In days gone by young people could go to the local dance to meet
members of the opposite sex. I guess in some parts of the world
you still can. With the advent of the internet we can meet
people online, which is great. While meeting someone online does
have its dangers in most cases it is relatively safe if you use
common sense.
With dating online you can get to know a person first before you
go on an actual date. During this time you should be able to
judge the suitability of the other person, check them out as it
were. This is great, you can establish a friendship first. So
what should you do before you go on that first date, especially
if you have been out of the dating scene for some time?
While this is written from a male point of view, (I guess it's
the only point of view I can come from being one!) some of this
will apply to women as well. This first thing is to look in the
mirror, yes look in the mirror, no not to admire your muscles
but to take a good hard look at yourself. Ok what do you see?
Because this is what the other person is going to see. Studies
have shown that it only takes a few seconds for an opinion or
attraction to form. First impressions do count. Don't judge a
book by its cover I hear you say and in many cases that's true
but we are not talking reading books here. How is your cover?
What is it you are showing to the world? Are your teeth clean?
Is your hair clean and tidy or if you are older do you still
look like a hippie reject from the sixties. Hey it's great to
follow fashion if you are young, but nothing dates an older
person like a bad or old hair style. I know some women still
find mullets cute but hey it's 2005!
Like it or not your appearance has a lot to do with making a
favorable impression. You won't attract a worthwhile partner if
you can't get passed the first hurdle. Some people, on the
strength of there personality alone will make a good impression.
Ask yourself are you one of those people?
Step one: Get yourself looking presentable. Join a gym; get your
hair cut do whatever it takes.
The other thing I would like to discuss is Personality. When we
start out on any journey, endeavour, quest call it what you like
we have to start with what we have. It's no use waiting for a
man or woman to come along to change things for the better, you
will be waiting a long time. Ever met people who say "Well when
I meet someone special everything will change" "Once I get a
boyfriend/girlfriend everything will be totally different" And
I'm a fairy godmother! Oh Please! You get men and women in their
late forties and fifties thinking like this. Very Sad!
You have to start with what you have. What are you like now?
This takes some honesty and effort on your part. Only you can
change things, you don't have to do it overnight, but you have
to start. So you have to take a look at who you are and what
sort of person you are. Are you open and friendly or do you put
people off by your manner? Are you shy? You might say well
that's just the way I am; you have always been that way. In that
case you have to change the way you are. How do you do that?
Practice, practice, and more practice. You might say I'm too
shy, too slow, too fat, too bald, too whatever, too lazy. Too
bad in that case! yet most of these things considered negatives
can be turned around and used to your advantage, although I
don't know about being lazy. Many women and men are attracted to
someone who is shy. Many of the world's sexiest men have been
bald. You have to know when to use being shy, bald, tall, short,
cuddly to your advantage and that requires that you Pay
Attention, but then that is a whole new subject.
If you want to succeed then "I'm too whatever" will stop you in
your tracks. You have to take action. Are you going to play or
take your bat and ball and go home?
Let's Play! It will be fun!