The Potter, The Witch and The Druglord
The Potter, The Witch and The Druglord
As the Harry Potter juggernaut bulldozes merrily along, just
about everybody has stepped into the cauldron of hot, churning
action. And that includes drug dealers no less! Heck, they know
a good thing when they see it!
Not to be left out of the Harry Potter phenomenon, New York
drug dealers have started peddling ecstasy pills engraved with
Harry Potter book and movie images. One can only assume their
thinking must be that the success of the Potter behemoth would
surely rub off on their products, even if in only some small
way; after all, in Harry Potter Universe, small magically
translates into a respectable sum in Muggleworld. That said, it
is evident that these guys aren't too savvy when it comes to
demographics. Even if utilizing super-elastic mind-stretch, it's
hard to picture the average Harry Potter fan cavorting and
gyrating wildly in some hip nightclub, as the image of their
idol slowly fizzles to nothing deep inside of them.
Still, anything is possible, especially when it comes to the
Potter phenomenon. Some people feel it is their divine
entitlement to have a slice of that not-so-free Potter pie. Take
the case of the 20-yr old bodybuilder from the UK. I think that
he took the saying "Ask and ye shall be given" a wee bit too
literally. In June of 2005 Bodybuilder X somehow helped himself
to two copies of The Half-Blood Prince before its
official release and tried to sell them to a newspaper reporter
from The Sun using a rather persuasive argument--the
business end of an imitation gun. As you can probably guess our
erstwhile bodybuilder didn't get too far in his marketing and
leverage scheme, despite ambitiously expanding the campaign
to include threatening and blackmailing Harry Potter UK
publisher, Bloomsbury.
At his trial in spite of an impassioned defense argument that
included gems such as--"There was a marked change in
Bodybuilder X's personality as he pursued his body building
interests. He was taking steroids to an almost unsupportable
level" -- Bodybuilder X was sentenced to four years as a
guest at one of her majesty's less luxurious retreats, where he
will have ample time to ponder on future business ventures while
furthering the pursuit of bodily perfection, but this time
without the unsupportable support of steroids.
So what's the moral of this affair? Your guess is as good as
mine. But one thing is certain, it's getting harder and harder
to discern what's fiction and what's truth in this magical
realm. There're many who claim that this whole Harry Potter saga
is a diabolical plot of the devil and an insidious campaign
manufactured by those with a leaning towards the darkside.
Nothing new there of course, but it would appear the legions of
those who view Potter and his pals as lesser demons is growing.
Their movement gained considerable momentum following claims by
sources (anonymous of course) who reported seeing scores of
bug-eyed, traumatized kids after a screening of The Goblet of
Fire (well what do you expect when little 6-yr old Timmy is
taken to a dark PG 13 movie). There're also several
unsubstantiated claims of teens converting en masse to Wicca
(religion of witchcraft) and generally accepting Harry Potter as
the new messiah (or devil).
My particular favorite is the claim that Harry Potter does
drugs (Aahh, clarity at last! That whole drug dealer connection
makes a lot more sense now. They've really got the pulse of this
Potter dude!).
Some of the proponents of Harry Potter as the raving
junkie offer the following as evidence to support their
claims:
"I don't expect you will really understand the beauty of the
softly simmering cauldron with its shimmering fumes, the
delicate power of liquids that creep through human veins,
bewitching the mind, ensnaring the senses...I can teach you how
to bottle fame, brew glory...." (This is an excerpt from a
speech given by the Potions Master in Harry Potter and the
Sorcerer's Stone.)
Well I retort, it cannot be poor Harry's fault that he got
enchanted by the delicate power of liquids creeping through
his veins. It's the school's fault of course. What did
Hogwarts expect, tempting minors with images of bottled fame and
teaching the basics of Meth-lab 101? That's for College.
Shame on them!
But seriously! Anybody can read something in nothing if they
really want to. If you so wish, fantasy fiction becomes an evil
plot to convert unsuspecting innocents by the cauldron-full to
the ways of the darkside. Beautifully imaginative prose somehow
manifests into a blueprint for witchcraft and drug
manufacture...it goes on and on, and there is no limit, but only
that of your fevered imagination.
There will always be decriers of anything and everything. It is
a well-established and much practiced tradition that gives
meaning and purpose to a perhaps less-than-meaningful existence.
I say, it all boils down to common sense and good parental
guidance. I remember when I first read Interview With The
Vampire (by Anne Rice) as a kid--it just blew me away! It
transported me into a mythical, colorful magical world that
mesmerized...which alas I can never revisit again because I'm no
longer a kid. My mind of today is hardened and little receptive
to the invisible, magical world of fantasy that shimmers all
around us.
Contrastingly my childhood brain was pliant and
supple--disbelieving yet believing--the best state to appreciate
fantasy... is it really true or isn't it?
I really liked the vampires (well some of them) and I often had
dreams where I'd soar high in the night sky, my pearly white
fangs sparkling with leashed menace. But I can honestly claim to
have never had the slightest inclination or desire to suck
blood, human or otherwise.
So folks, let's allow the kids (and others) to enjoy a good
read for what it is, and be done with it!
But that doesn't mean I don't intend to get my grubby fingers
on a slice of that potter's pie. All this Potter talk and
rhetoric has rooted the germ of an idea...a budding business
venture--my new film...
Coming soon to a theatre near you.
The Potter, The Witch and The Druglord!