Become a Better Negotiator and Avoid Arguments
Ever noticed the outcome of an argument between two people or
groups with contradicting views? Was there really a winner? It
is important to come to some kind of understanding without
burning bridges with the other party.
If you're on the winning side of an argument, you may feel
superior, and important. All these feelings suggest a positive
outcome for you. It's as if you're looking down on a guy while
he looks up at you. He has these words to mumble "I'm going to
get you next time; you wait and see."
Yes, there's this shallow threat to win over you once he gets a
rematch. Definitely, a rivalry and a disharmonious relationship
will ensue. If the argument happens in front of other people,
the repercussions are far worst than can be imagined. To most
people, being contradicted and won over in front of other people
is a big issue. For obvious reasons, no person in his right
sense can tolerate being contradicted. It is an embarrassment.
Try avoiding contradicting people in a public forum. A person
forced to submit against his will stays firm in his belief. So
what's the best advice to a situation that seems to lead to an
impending argument?
Welcome an opinion even though it is the opposite of your own.
When two people go into a partnership, let's say in business, it
is normal that disagreements arise. Actually, it is healthy for
business.
Disagreements don't mean that the partnership will go sour. It's
the exchange of ideas that gives businesses more competitive
edges and improvements. Use disagreements to your advantage.
This is especially true to married couples. Husbands and wives
may disagree but they ultimately find a common ground to make
their relationship stronger. It's like exploring each other,
getting to know your partner better.
If you are the temperamental type, learn to control it. Make
every effort to gradually reduce the intensity until you see
substantial improvement. Temper that is out of control is fueled
by anger like a forest wildfire. This is entirely different from
controlled temper that is like the fire in the fireplace giving
warmth at wintertime. A bad temper can cost you a lot of friends
and a lot of money.
One of the most important character elements you can develop to
avoid arguments is to be a good listener. Give your ear a chance
to listen first before you let words come out of your mouth.
When you do have a word or two to say; try your best to align
them in a non-argumentative direction. Be tactful. Dwell on
areas where you think you and the other party will agree. Be
sincere. If you commit a mistake, acknowledge and apologize
accordingly. Apologizing for mistakes does not make you a lesser
person in terms of importance. On the contrary, people feel
humbled when apologized to. Apologies bring out the gentle
person in you.
Give the other party the benefit of the doubt in his opinion
especially when you doubt your own opinion as well. Tell the
other party you will think over his ideas. This is better than
being told later " I told you so but you wouldn't listen." This
will also give you and him the chance to evaluate the problem or
issue.
When someone takes the time and the effort to engage in a debate
or argument with you, it only shows that he is also interested
in the same things as you do. That alone is sufficient reason
for you to thank him.
Arguments are raised not to be a source of losing one's face.
Arguments are raised so that we may learn a lesson or two and
get better in terms of acquiring added knowledge.
David Neese is a real estate investing author who offers a free
course for real estate investors delivered by email, audio and
Teleseminar which you can get for free at:
http://www.FreeRealEstateInvestingCourses.com You can find more
information about David at http://www.DigitalSuccessCoach.com
KEYWORDS: disagreement, negotiation, argument
Summary: Avoid arguments by learning to become a better
negotiator.