Spouse Objections to Rehab Real Estate Investment
I've run across a lot of folks who tell me they'd love to do
what I do, but their wife is just not comfortable with it.
That's a powerful objection, and sometimes it's one that cannot
be overcome. Most times, I think it can be, if you really want
to. All too often, I get the impression the potential investor
doesn't want to jump into rehab real estate bad enough to work
through the spouses objections. It's the old "it's easier NOT
to" mentality!
The issue is usually not that your spouse doesn't want the
financial rewards that accompany the real estate rehab business.
The reasons spouses object is usually good ol' fear. For example:
* fear of the unforeseen
* fear of financial loss
* fear that you don't yet know what you're doing (my favorite!)
The latter two are the big leaders. These fears may come from
something they've heard, or they may be rooted in them not
really understanding the transaction or what you're trying to
accomplish.
For my wife, her fears were that something would come up that I
hadn't thought of, or that a house may sit empty for several
months thus depleting the bank account.
How to deal with the fears of your spouse regarding rehab
real estate
- Sit down and discuss their fears. Find out what they really
are. You always want to deal with a known entity.
- Be sure your spouse understands the importance of rehab real
estate in your long term financial goals, and how it fits into
your family's security.
- Always encourage your spouse to ask questions!
If your spouse expresses general fear of the whole thing, that
may be because of a lack of understanding of the process or they
are very intimidated by it.
- Encourage questions!
- Explain how the transactions will work
- Explain how you are minimizing the risk to your family. Yes,
the numbers might be big, but if you aren't putting a lot of
your own money in it, then your risk of loss is minimal.
- Go over the worst case scenarios. Explain that worst case,
the property could be quickly sold for SOME profit.
- Reveal to your spouse the folks you have working with you,
such as your mortgage broker, your wholesaler (flipper),
appraiser, and anyone else you've identified up to that point
My wife was very distrustful of these folks in the beginning. I
had to explain and show her that these folks had EVERYTHING to
gain by my first deals going very well, if they wanted to
continue making money with me.
- If the fear seems to be of the unforeseen Explain that while
this seems complicated, you've done your homework and you've
learned about all you can learn without actually doing a deal
for experience. (You reach a point where this is true!)
- Explain that you won't own the property a minute without
enough insurance to cover anything that could happen.
If the fear is financial loss Depending on your personal
financial situation, you should focus your spouse on how real
estate can and does improve the lives of investors.
- If you've already identified a property, reveal your
worksheet and how much you stand to make off that property.
- Agree with your spouse NOT to take on too much risk. Set your
boundaries together. I assure you that you'll easily revisit
these the first time you bring home a large check.
Fear that you don't have the knowledge
- Be sure you are well studied! Remember, knowledge comes
before the money! Spend the money on a good course, or book.
Don't rely on just one. Get several author's take on the
subject. There are inexpensive ways to do this!
- Explain that you have studied this thoroughly. Heck, you've
got a head full of knowledge that needs to be put into action in
order to move forward.
- Agree with your spouse. That's why you are tapping into the
knowledge of those real estate professionals around you! Explain
who's on your team, and what they have to gain from you. Remind
your spouse that you are tapping into the knowledge of those
around you, those that know your area very well.
When your spouse comes around and is resigned that you are going
to do this, they may:
- Sign on and dig in beside you for the deal and what follows
(throw total support behind you).
- Flatly say, they don't agree, but if you must...
- Something in between, like "Honey, you do whatever you think
is best."
This last possibility is what I predict will happen to most.
This allows your spouse to give you the room you need, but at
the same time not completely agree. That's where my wife went.
It was a safe position for her. And, it's a safe position for
you! You've got the go-ahead, so go ahead!
I was in that position myself. If was a good feeling to watch
her fears fall away as I complete my first couple of projects.
Her eyes got nice and big when I refinanced my first two
properties at the same time and brought home more money in one
day than I'd ever held in my hands before. I also watched her
understand the benefits more completely while sitting in my
CPA's office and having him say to her "These properties are
saving you big time on your taxes." I dare not say, I told her
so, but I told her so :)
Sure, there are challenges, but the paydays are great.
So, over time, my bride is my full partner taking on whole
aspects of the business freeing me up to do the parts I do best.
Spouse objections can be show-stoppers, but these suggestions
will hopefully help you deal carefully with them. It's not
enough to merely brush them aside and charge ahead. I recommend
a loving, cautious approach because in good time and bad, your
spouse is your greatest ally. Keep them close!