How Do You Forgive Your Mother For Giving You Up As A Child, 39 Years Ago?

I wanted to forgive my mother for giving me up after 39 years, but I wanted to know how to do that. It was the late 80's early 90's; I was not working at the time so I had a lot of free time. I spent most of my time regrouping from past disappointments with jobs that had not worked out, and just became a couch potato, watching television. Everyone has a way of dealing with disappointments, some eat themselves into submission, others drink, drug etc. I chose at the time to just fall into the fantasy of television again, so I did not have to physically feel my reality. Now I know at this point you're asking yourself a couple of questions, such as, what was my reality? And what was my fantasy about television? it was this, I believed everyone had a perfect family, you see while I was growing up I watched a lot of television, like " Leave To Beaver, and similar family shows so I began to believe that was what real families were like. I envied anyone who had a mother, father, sister, and brothers. The perfect family, know one ever argued, your mother always came down to prepare breakfast with high heels, and that perfect brand new outfit. Wow, what a life with a family. I was now 39 years old, a loner, no friends, or family and still believed in the illusion of that perfect family. I had been fired from a job and in the dumps emotionally, and never really allowed people to get too close to me, for fear of them knowing about my past. I was too ashamed. The fantasy began to unravel when I began watching "The Ricky Lake Show", and "The Jerry Springer Show", in the late 80's early 90's. I began watching these show religiously, everyday for about six months. I was intrigued that people actually came from dysfunctional families and that all families were not like "Ossie and Harriet". And, there were people who did not even know their biological families like me. When I started seeing the reunions of people like me who did not know their family members, and were able to forgive them, it blew me away. I started listening to both sides of the stories, the parents who gave up their children, the children's response to their parent's reasons for giving them up. I began to put myself in the shoes of the parents and ask myself if I had any right to judge the parent reasons of giving up their children, I put away all the childish anger and resentments that I had built up over the years aside, and realized as a adult that we all have our own situations that we want to be forgiven for. There were things that I had done to others that I wanted to be forgiven for; it was time to work on forgiving my family, if the opportunity presented itself. Come back soon to read about my reunion opportunity with my mother on the " Oprah Winfrey Show." Orphaned Children Now Adults ocnasupports@aol.com