Ordinary or Extra-Ordinary?
There is a way to feel wonderful all of the time and what's more
it is quite simple to implement.
I'm not sure about you, but I can't think of any other outcome
that would be higher, or that I would enjoy more, than for a
person to have had an interaction with me and enjoyed it so much
that they want to spend time with me over and over again. I'm
sure this is what most of us want, but do we go about it in the
right way?
When we meet people we want to share ourselves with them. We
want to express our knowledge, experience and opinion and quite
often our judgement on events or people. By doing this we hope
that will be liked, enjoy friendships and be abundantly
successful in our work. But what if I told you this trick
doesn't work as effectively as another trick I know?
What do I mean?
In order to enjoy interactions and become abundantly popular we
have to do something different to imparting all our knowledge
and experience and judgements. We have to focus differently. We
have to focus on just one thing. And what is that?
We have to focus on the highest desire. By this I mean: what is
the highest outcome you could have in this situation: What is
the highest standard? What is the highest level of being? What
is most important?
Here is an example:
Let's say you have a dispute with your spouse or partner. The
primary factor in your relationship with this person is to love
and be loved. Many times we get ingrained in other stuff -
making a point and needing to be right on a multitude of
subjects and killing the very highest intention you had when you
first met and began courting. The most important outcome of all,
is to love and be loved. When your focus is on the highest
outcome the dispute fades into stuff - secondary stuff.
What about with work colleagues who you don't love?
Again what is your highest intention? Is it to win your point of
view at any cost? Is it to be seen as the fountain of all
knowledge in the office? Or is it to be respected for your
talents and abilities? Focus on the highest outcome. When you do
this you send subtle, unseen signals to your work colleagues and
your bosses and they will being to show you the very thing you
want.
What about the kids?
With kids it is simple too. What is the highest outcome: is it
to force them into doing what you want right this second or to
have them willingly co-operate and grow up into well rounded,
responsible people? If the highest desired outcome is to have
them willingly co-operate and grow up into well rounded people
then all you need to do is adopt the behaviour of the parent who
has well-rounded co-operative kids.
We can never beat or force people into liking us, but we can
encourage them. We encourage them by helping them to remember
that they are perfect, wonderful people; we encourage them by
wishing them well, wanting what they want, finding the common
ground and working together towards the highest outcome.
And what do we get from interacting like this?
We get to feel good. We get move on from being ordinary to being
extra ordinary. Ordinary people are (according to statistics) in