The Thick Line Between Buddy And Boss
Q: One of my key employees is giving me trouble. He has started
showing up late for work and has developed a bad attitude in
general. The rest of my employees are complaining since they are
having to take up his slack. I've tried talking to him, but he
doesn't seem to listen. To make matters worse, he has become one
of my best friends since I hired him five years ago, so firing
him is out of the question. What can I do? -- Allen B.
A: One reason I am so qualified to dispense sage business advice
every week, Allen, is that I have made just about every business
blunder you can imagine. I am like the Evel Knievel of the small
business world, if Evel Knievel wrote a weekly column on
motorcycle safety.
One of the more unpleasant things I've had to do is fire a good
friend who was not doing the job I hired him to do. He needed a
job, I needed an employee, so I thought I would give him a shot.
It turned out to be a match made in business hell. He took
advantage of our friendship by showing up late for work,
spending time goofing off instead of working, and making a joke
out of my complaints about his behavior. Because of our
friendship I defended his actions to my other employees, but
after a few weeks I knew I had to show him the door. We're still
friends, but certainly not like we were before.
The blunder I made was hiring a friend in the first place. I let
emotion, i.e. the desire to help my friend gain employment, get
in the way of my business sense. That's what you are doing now,
Allen, and I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you are
going to have to deal with this situation soon or your entire
operation may be affected by the actions of this one person.
The blunder you have made is that you have befriended an
employee, which is something you should never do. I'm not saying
you can't be friendly with your employees, but you have attached
a considerable amount of emotional baggage to the
employer/employee relationship and the result is the situation
you are faced with today.
Friends expect preferential treatment simply because they are
your friends. The workplace, however, must be a level playing
field for all your employees, friends or not. While employees
deserve your respect (if it is earned), giving one employee
preferential treatment over another is never a good idea. This
is a problem experienced by many business owners and managers
who allow themselves to become too close to their employees.
I understand that he has become your friend over the years and
you'd rather eat rocks than fire him, but you have to consider
how his behavior is impacting your business over all. What
effect is he having on employee morale, on work schedules, on
customer relations, on time spent fixing his mistakes, and most
importantly, the bottom line?
You have two options: get him back on track or get him off the
payroll, period. That may sound cold and politically incorrect,
but those are your only choices. Either way, you must be his
employer first and friend second. He may have personal reasons
for his performance, but as his employer you are legally limited
as to how much prying you can do into his home life. As his
friend, however, I expect that you already have a good idea what
the problem is. If you can help him return to being a productive
member of the team, then do so. If not, wish him well, let him
go, and move on.
Here are a few suggestions to help you establish and enforce the
boundaries of the employer/employee relationship.
Define the relationship. Keep your seat, Dr. Phil, this won't
take long. The employer/employee relationship should be
well-defined from the outset and the parameters understood by
all parties. Some call it "defining the pecking order" or
"establishing the food chain." Whatever colorful term you use it
all boils down to this: You can be their boss or you can be
their buddy. You can not be both.
Don't hire friends or relatives. This rule is certainly bendable
if you are the owner of the business and you hire your children
to work for you. Chances are your offspring already accept you
as the ultimate authority figure and managing them in a business
environment is second nature. However, even this situation could
have a negative impact on your business as non-related employees
often expect the boss' son, daughter, or best buddy to work
less, make more money, and be treated better than everyone else.
Whether that's true or not, nepotism and cronyism can create an
underlying tension among the ranks.
Establish and adhere to company policies. It's a good idea to
have published policies concerning every aspect of your
business, including employee behavior and performance
expectations. By it's very nature the employer/employee
relationship is prone to favoritism. Managers can't help but
favor those employees who work harder, longer, and faster, but
when it comes to adhering to company policies, there should be
no preferential treatment of favored employees. Every employee
should receive a copy of your published company policies and
sign a form stating that they have read, understand, and agree
with the same.
The Bottom Line: treat everyone the same. It does not matter if
the employee is a vice president or a janitor; everyone in your
company should be treated the same when it comes to adhering to
published company policies and performance expectations.
While it is true that a vice president may be of more value to
the company than a janitor, it is also true that a vice
president who is running amok can do far more damage to your
company than a janitor who lets a toilet back up every once in
awhile (there's an analogy there that I will let you figure out
on your own).
It's not personal, it's just business. This is what the movie
bad guys say to one another right before the shooting starts.
"Hey, Paulie, it's not personal. It's just business." BLAM!
BLAM! This is the dating equivalent of saying, "It's not you,
it's me." These kinds of statements are not going to make anyone
feel better when they are getting dumped or fired. Just ask any
former employee or old girlfriend you've used this line on.
If you have to fire an employee - even a friend - do it by the
book in a professional manner.
It won't be easy, but you have to remove the emotion and do
what's best for your business.
Here's to your success.