Your Direct Mail Donors Should Be Arrested (By Your Letter
Opening).
The first time I was shelled by enemy artillery, I learned a
vital lesson that applies to the success of your fundraising
letters.
I was lying in a slit trench on Mount Wall, about 35 kilometres
west of the town of Stanley, in the Falkland Islands. The year
was 1982, the Falklands War. The Argentines were lobbing 105mm
Pack Howitzer shells around my position, trying to dislodge my
Royal Marines Commando troop.
But their fire was ineffective.
You see, the soil in the Falkland Islands consists largely of
peat bogs. The soil is dense and wet and soft underfoot. That
means the enemy's artillery rounds penetrated the soil before
detonating, sending most of their force and shrapnel upwards
rather than horizontally, in my direction.
When you want to leave a lasting impression on your target
audience, you must use the right ammunition. If the Argentines
had used the kind of artillery shells that explode above the
ground rather than in it, you would not be reading this article
today.
So here is the principle applied in practice, in the battle for
the mind of your target audience. You must open your fundraising
letters in such a way that you compel your donors to read on
right to the end, and take action. Your opening sentence is the
most vital sentence in your letter. If you use the wrong
ammunition here, your letter will misfire.
So start your letters with your largest cannon. Grab your
prospect's attention so that he simply has to read on.
Here are some creative examples of ways to do that.
Pose a provocative question
"What happens when a snow leopard catches a cold, a walrus has a
toothache or a 3,000-pound rhino comes down with an intestinal
disorder?"
Start with an arresting story
"She stood on the curb looking scared and lonely in a skimpy
halter top and bright red lipstick. It was two in the morning. A
chilly breeze whipped up in the street and seemed to make her
shiver. She was a child . . . just a child. We pulled our
Covenant House van up to the curb and rolled down the window . .
. ."
Open with a scintillating (and relevant) quote
"'I complained because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had
no feet.' Perhaps your parents taught you this when you were
young. Mine did. It keeps things in perspective, and I have
learned, in my better moments, not to complain."
Present an arresting fact
"America's neglect is killing our children. In the past year,
40,000 babies like Andrew died before their first birthday.
Virtually no other industrial nation lets so many of its babies
die."