Social Flirting For Girls
If you're planning to go out for the night to a social club or
bar to do some flirting or dating, you must be sure that you've
adequately considered safety. Ideally go out with at least one
other person, and think about how you're going to get home.
Perhaps arrange to call someone half-way through the evening, or
if you get into trouble. (If you arrange for someone to call
you, make sure your phone is switched on and set so that you can
tell it's ringing!)
You need to know that although you do not usually make the
initial approach, you are trying to get a man to do that, and
that takes a lot of confidence for the man. Make it easier for
him by being alone or in a small group of people. If you want to
filter out less confident men, stay with a larger group, but if
you do this then be aware that it will reduce the number of
people who approach you. If your group includes men, try to make
it clear that you are not with any of them by not being too
close to them if possible! Keep an awareness of your body
language while performing the following steps, making sure it is
open and friendly:
1. You see someone you like across the club floor. You want him
to approach you. At this point, catch his eye for a bit longer
than you would normally be comfortable with, flash him a broad
smile, look away and look back again. The next thing to try is
tossing your hair while looking at him. Then keep glancing at
him for a while. You could try dancing alone to whatever music
is playing, if you're in a nightclub. Beckon towards an empty
seat if you are sitting down. If he approaches, you have
succeeded! If he doesn't after you've sent this many green
lights, maybe he is not interested or too shy; this could be for
any number of reasons, so the best bet is to move on.
2. If you succeeded in getting hiim to make an approach, he's
come over towards you, and started a conversation. Try to keep
the conversation going through all of the following stages. The
next stage is to turn towards him. Start with your face,
following with your shoulders, then your torso, and finally legs
and feet. If he does the same, he is showing interest, and it
will help the flirting to proceed.
3. Once you are ready, touch him! If you're not ready to do
that, but you are happy for him to touch you, position yourself
such that you are close enough for him to touch you. You could
touch him to point something out, to move both of you somewhere
quieter, or even to remove a piece of possibly imaginary lint.
You will be sending a powerful signal by doing this. People like
to be touched! If he touches you, return the touch. Expect him
to return the touch if you do it first.
4. The next stage is called mirroring, and often happens
subconsciously. You will both tend to adopt similar postures,
and when one person changes some aspect of their posture, the
other often follows suit within about a minute. To get to this
stage quickly, you can adopt whatever posture he has, and then
adjust it as he does. Don't make it too soon after he changes
his posture, and make sure you don't give the impression that
you are doing whatever he does! You can then start to lean
forward towards him (if you are sitting down), perhaps move
closer to him so that you can hear him better, and he will
hopefully do the same. To flirt successfully, it's best to be at
least a little bit closer than you would be if you were "just
friends," even if that's all you are at that point!
If you get to this point, you should be able to lead matters to
whatever conclusion you want! You're both showing interest, not
too excessively, and you should be able to enjoy what's rest of
the night together. Have fun!