Insurance 101 - Undermining America for the Good of Americans
Insurance is like a myth. From one small seed of truth, a
fairytale the size of 1000 giant sequoias has sprung up. Reality
is blocked from view. Surely, you've noticed all the giant,
sequoia-like buildings are owned by banks and insurance
companies. Where do they get all that money? How much money do
the executives make? Who pays for it all? Grab a mirror. "Magic
mirror on the wall, who's the biggest sucker of them all? What's
that you said? The Masses!"
Insurance is yet another unquestioned social reflex. You just
buy it. You must. The banker insists you have to purchase
insurance or you don't get the loan. Your government orders you
to buy auto insurance at any cost. Hence, it must be really good
for you. Hell, why not stock up on some of the non-mandated
insurances as well? You can't have too much of a good thing. Can
you?
Somewhere in the dark, murky corners of our minds we hide our
thoughts. Like The Emperor's New Clothes, no one screams out,
"But he has nothing on!" or "Hey, this is just bullshit!" You
are not alone in the darkness. We all think it. So you are no
longer scared to speak, here are some of those secret thoughts
voiced out loud for the first time:
1) If I speak out against insurance, I will be jinxed. My home
will surely burn to the ground and I will look like a moron.
2) If I speak out against insurance, some pecker-head who heard
me will have an accident and sue me because folks are not
responsible for their own choices.
3) Insurance is betting against myself. Why would I bet against
me?
4) If insurance companies must charge such high premiums because
they're losing so much in payouts, how do they afford all those
big buildings?
5) What do insurance companies sell? Air? Promises they intend
to deny via small print? Contracts? Wouldn't I rather buy an
IHOP franchise with that money?
6) If government represents the people, why do they make me, a
people, a criminal when I cannot afford auto insurance to get to
work and feed my family?
7) How much in dollars and perks do insurance lobbyists put into
the pockets of politicians?
8) Do I really need trip-cancellation insurance? Why would I buy
a dream trip, and then bet on my canceling it at the last
moment?
9) If I put all the money I spend on insurance into the bank or
toward building success, how much money would I have for coping
with my problems on my own terms?
10) If I buy the extended warranty, will I remember I have it or
be able to find it when my widget explodes?
11) Shouldn't companies make quality widgets that last three
years in the first place?
12) And finally, did Jennifer Lopez really insure herself for
hundreds of millions of dollars? What? She is already rich. The
agent who sold this policy is phenomenal.
Yes, we all know the system is way out of hand! The blame lies
with insurance companies, greedy bankers, spineless politicians
and with the Masses unquestioningly supporting these
absurdities. Every frivolous lawsuit provides government an
excuse for mandating people be protected from themselves via
costly insurances and removal of individual freedoms.
Before long, we will be required to carry Coffee-Burn riders on
auto insurance and Cell- Phone-Earring-Tear addendums on HMOs.
These days Sleeping Beauty would have sued the castle owner
(a.k.a. Dad) for that prick on the finger, lost wages from the
coma and for trauma from the scar. Uninsured sewing needles
would be outlawed throughout the kingdom.
With a system this out of control, how do you protect yourself?
You cut the fat. Quit betting against yourself. Think about all
those different types of insurance. Stop buying out of reflex
and decide for yourself what you can kick to the curb. Consider
the variety out there and what you truly must have.
Life Insurance is for betting you will die such a loser that you
can't pay for your own funeral or leave your kids any
inheritance. Extra Car Insurance-How much you betting that you
will crash? Not to mention, homeowner's, mortgage, trip
cancellation, emergency evacuation, unemployment, boat, credit
card, business interruption, earthquake, disability, dental,
smoker, expatriate, backpack traveler, winter sports, flood,
warranty and health insurance. The list goes on.
Here is a new monument to the ludicrous: Terrorist Insurance.
It's even pushed at Art Gallery Owner's in isolated communities
of the Northern Great Plains. And, why not? No doubt Osama is
crouching in an Afghan cave right now, plotting to rid the world
of those pesky Remmington Cowboy bronzes.
Insurance agents prey upon these new fears like snakes on
wounded mice. Apparently, companies want to terrorize you into
buying coverage. Another possibility is a rebel SCUD aimed for
Mount Rushmore may slam into a Canada Goose and go askew. It
sucks when this happens! No doubt your goat ranch in Chug Water,
Wyoming is in eminent danger from this likely chain of events.
Perhaps, you should add a specific 'Unpasteurized-Cheese
Addendum' to your Terrorist Policy. Call your agent today and
ask them. See if they will sell you one.
The odds of you dying of a mosquito bite are better than the
odds you will die at the hands of a terrorist. Well, crap! The
government better permit companies to require we all carry
Mosquito Insurance. Maybe you can get a DEET discount! Better
still; why not turn over all our bothersome responsibility, like
freedom and privacy, to the Feds. Then good ol' Uncle Sam can
protect citizens from the winged menaces that haunt our very
souls.
Congress could raise taxes to fund Bug Inspectors. Their job
would be to comb through your private life, home and property
looking for freestanding water. They would not look for anything
else (roll eyes here). Still cancer and glaucoma patients might
want to keep the baggies away from the birdbath.
Speaking of cancer, the Air Force could spray us all from above
with a perfectly "safe" mixture of insecticides called Agent
Tan. Coincidently, that day your governor vacations far away. Is
there anybody in his or her right mind who would elect an
insurance salesman to public office? Of course, both politicians
and insurers are selling you hot air, so perhaps it is a match
made in H...
A very few insurances are worth buying, such as liability
insurance for cars and real estate. Once you have something to
lose, it's a sure bet some lazy troll with an
entitlement-mentality will try to sue you. In this case, you
want the giants on your side. Insurance companies provide
lawyers to run evil little trolls back under their bridges.
Insurance prices in America are out of control. The wide range
of insurance the bureaucracy would have us believe we cannot
live without is genuinely insulting. Buying all the coverage
companies would have you believe you need wastes thousands of
your dollars each year. Look over policies and eliminate what
you can. Insurance is just legalized gambling. If you are
betting against yourself, how can you take a gamble on yourself?
Pursue your dreams instead!