Finding a Gay-Affirming Psychotherapist
A lesbian, bisexual, transgendered* or gay man can find
themselves in a therapist's office for the same reasons that
bring anyone in for help. But it can be difficult for someone in
the GLBTG community to find an affirming, supportive therapist.
The position of the American Psychological Association is that
homosexuality is NOT a psychological disorder. Research also has
shown that psychotherapeutic treatment to change sexual
orientation does not work. Nor is it ethical for a professional
to approach a GLBTG client with the intention of trying to
change their sexual/affectional orientation. That having been
said, how do you screen for an appropriate therapist if you are
gay?
*The transgendered (or transsexual) client may have special
needs in therapy, an important one being to get help in the
process of sex reassignment and to have support in the decisions
they will make about their gender.
SOME PREDISPOSING FACTORS:
As a prospective therapy client, you can keep these factors in
the back of your mind as you are interviewing or screening your
therapist. It has been shown that therapists who are the most
likely to hold unfavorable attitudes toward the GLBTG client
tend to:
1. Have less contact with gay men and Lesbians in their own
personal lives;
2. See their colleagues and peers as also
having these negative attitudes;
3. Be male;
4. Be more
likely to come from rural backgrounds in their adolescence;
5. Be more religious;
6. Be older and less educated;
7.
Be more likely to adhere to traditional sex roles;
8. Be
less liberal about sex in general or have more guilt or
negativity about sex;
9. Be authoritarian in that they see
the world in a rigid, black and white fashion.
THE SEARCH: When looking for a GLBTG affirming therapist:
1. Ask your friends for recommendations!
2. Look in any
local gay newspapers, newsletters, or directories for
therapists;
3. When looking in the yellow pages or
mainstream advertising, see if they list GENDER ISSUES, OR
ALTERNATIVE LIFESTYLES or mention that they are GLBGT
supportive;
4. Look on bulletin boards in any Women's
Centers, bookstores, or alternative organizations;
5. Call
your local GLBTG organizations (e.g., a nearby college) for
recommendations;
6. Go on line.
THE PHONE CALL:
When it is time to set up an appointment with a prospective
therapist, you may want to ask these questions or make these
comments directly:
1. You might ask directly if the therapist is "gay friendly". If
they are, they will usually know what this means and will
respond with a yes;
2. Approaching from another angle, you might ask them about
their approach to changing sexual orientation. (Any attempt to
present a treatment or therapy here may indicate that the
therapist believes you can be "cured");
3. You could ask about their professional background and see if
they've worked somewhere that might indicate a liberal bias,
like a Woman's Shelter, Rape Crisis Center, or AIDS Counseling
Center;
4. You could ask about their professional affiliations. The
American Psychological Association (APA) has a division focusing
on GLBTG issues and so do other professional organizations;
5. If the therapist is asking about your life situation, notice
the choices he/she makes in her inquiries. Are you asked about
your husband or wife, or does she/he use inclusive words like,
"partner", "significant other", etc;
6. If you are a woman and refer to your partner as "she", or
"he" if you are a man, can you notice any bias in the therapists
voice or response or subsequent questions;
7. Ask whether he or she has any GLBTC clients, or has worked
with this population in the past;
8. Simply tell her that you are gay or transgendered (or are
wondering) and are looking for a supportive therapist.
9. Ask the therapist how s/he views "Alternative Lifestyles";
10. It is not a good idea to ask the therapist about her own
sexual orientation over the phone. Unfortunately, this is a
matter of safety....because of the possibility of harrassment,
the therapist may not feel comfortable with this.
STARTING THERAPY:
Once you have made your appointment, the screening process is
not over. Feel free to discontinue therapy at any time you feel
you are being discriminated against in any way. Some things to
look for are:
1. Responses that suggest your therapist doesn't want you to be
gay. Too much emphasis on your sexual orientation when you do
not present it as an issue.
2. Any unfounded feedback about sexual orientation being a
result of some type of pathology: distant father, controlling
mother, broken home, etc. This sounds like you need to be cured.
(And, by the way, there is no evidence to suggest that sexual
orientation is the result of any such pathology).
3. Any reference to programs that focus on changing one's sexual
orientation. Even if it's..."Have you heard of.....".
4. The liberal response which suggests that lesbians and gay
men, bi's and TG's are "just like everybody else". As if being a
Lesbian, for example, has no meaning.
5. The inadequate response from the therapist in taking a full
history, or asking about your relationship, etc. In other words,
avoiding the issue.
6. You will pick up on more subtle cues from your therapist.
Just trust your instincts and how you feel. Look for things such
as surprise when you say you've been in a gay relationship for
some duration, or you have had no trauma in your life, or you
like being gay.
7. At any point in your therapy, feel free to discuss your
concerns with your therapist. If he or she seems open and
willing to take a look at his/her biases, you may opt to stay.
However, it is crucial that you believe your therapist to be
affirming and supportive. Don't hesitate to find somebody who is.