Decision Making and Goal Setting: Think Big
When I was seven years old, someone from my family asked me what
my goal in life was. I felt the answer was easy, so I listed a
horde of vocations including becoming the first woman wrestler.
"A vocation or the area you want to work in is not what I am
talking about," my relative said. "I am asking why you want to
do what you want to do. It helps when we look for the reasons
underneath our desires." Many years later, I realized that this
relative was teaching me the true meaning of goal setting.
To this day, I ask the same question to young people I come in
contact with and those whom I am in a position to influence. It
is surprising how many do not know the answer. They do not know
because most of us live by chance, accepting or complaining
about what the events push on our path, rather than living by
intelligent choice.
To know what you want in life and why you want it leads to
success. In all cases, the answer to the question "why" is more
important than the answer to the question "what." Once a person
understands the "why" of what he wants, the next step of setting
it as a goal is easy. Sometimes, when we find out the underlying
reason why we want something, we may also find out that our
reason is an artificial one. Then, we know this is the time to
quit instead of working at something that would make us
miserable at the end.
We all make a faulty decision at one time or another, but if we
stop and think about our reasons, we can make corrections or let
go the project altogether. For example: as an initial emotion, I
felt true pride when one of my sons, during the time he was in
the tenth grade, announced that he had decided to enter the US
army after talking to a recruiting officer in school. Then, he
continued excitedly, telling us he would be getting free college
education. At that point, I asked him his real reasons. He could
not answer. I told him, his father and I were in a position to
provide him with a decent college education; however, if he
wanted to be in the army because--above and foremost--he wanted
to serve his country and that he would do anything and face any
hardship to give the best service he could possibly give, then I
would back him up one thousand percent and I would be very proud
of his decision. Our son told us that the recruiting officer had
not even mentioned the importance of service, but had focused
upon the benefits the kids would be getting from the army. At
that moment, I felt that this approach of recruitment was an
inadequate one. Our children are honorable and intelligent
enough to want to serve for the right reasons, whereas
artificial motives can lead them and the army into failure.
There has to be deeper, more meaningful purposes for our
decisions. When a teacher chooses teaching, he does not--must
not--choose it because of the long summer vacation, but for the
joy of teaching and shaping young minds for a better world. A
physician should not become a physician because he will be
considered the cream of the crop and he will make more money
than fifty percent of the population. This truth-seeking goes
for all professions, avocations, the mates and friends we
choose, and whatever options we face in life.
After knowing the deeper reason behind our goals, the steps
leading to achievement become much easier. Our potential turns
into being our process and it prepares our goal for fruition by
setting time limits for each step, afterwards leading us to
action upon our decisions, to vigilance for opportunities, to
willingness to make small adjustments along the way, and to
persistence on our path.
Also, when we focus our energies on one goal whose importance is
clear to us, we are better able to let go of anything that does
not serve a positive purpose. Guilt, fear, the mind's
chattering, the feelings of unworthiness, bad habits, the worry
of what others may say are eliminated when we are aware of our
true purpose.
Making an intelligent and well-thought-out decision leads to
success, instead of jumping into action. A wise choice benefits
everyone instead of a bad, fast choice, because true winners are
directed from their insides, and those who are directed from
their inner beings find their true calling and a life well
lived.