Communication: Understanding the non-verbal art form of body
language
He, who knows, does not speak. He, who speaks, does not know."
-Lao Tzu
Fundamentally, communication is expressed in verbal form. The
conveyor, or he or she that is expressing, talks or writes while
the recipient listens to or reads the transfer. However, there
is another form of communication based on gestures or body
movements. This art of non-verbal communication is better known
as body language.
Although spoken communication is the more direct way to convey a
message or point of view, it can be masked. In body language,
the message can be conveyed in a truer sense or form. However,
this depends on the interpretation of the recipient of the
message. How we interpret as individuals is based specifically
on our experiences.
Anthony Robbins once said, and I quote... "To effectively
communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the
way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide
to our communication with others."
With that said, it is imperative to disseminate and bring into
light this art of non-verbal communication. How a message is
interpreted, correctly or wrongly, may have drastic, dramatic
and perhaps even life altering implications.
It is far easier to see what one is saying, than it is to just
hear what they are saying.
For funs sake, let's pick a simple scenario to illustrate
non-verbal communication. Let us say a former colleague of yours
calls you to propose a business partnership. This colleague is
just a casual acquaintance. He's not exactly a confidant whom
you would refer to as a close buddy. He has asked that the two
of you meet somewhere and you politely oblige. So you wind up
meeting him in a coffee shop. After the usual handshake (this is
one type of body language), both of you take a seat and order a
cup of green tea. After a few exchanges of pleasantries and
engaging in a little small-talk, you touch on the subject of the
business proposal. While in the process of presenting the
proposed business, you occasionally interrupt him with questions
that he readily answers. Subconsciously, while you continue to
listen to his proposal, you keep touching your nose with your
index finger, rubbing it once in a while as if covering the nose
with your hand.
After the proposal has been made, he asks for any questions or
comments, if his proposal merits your acceptance. He's not
asking for an immediate answer or decision, regarding your
interest, giving you enough time to study it. However, your
first impression of the proposal is somewhat of an inclination
to reject it. Your core reason is that you are not familiar with
the line of business he's proposing, and to swim in unfamiliar
water simply does not interest you.
But in spite of your negative perception of the proposal, you
don't want to disappoint your former colleague, at least not
yet. Before you give the final word that you will seriously
study the proposal, you make some initial comments about it to
the tune that it may seem to merit your approval although it
really does not. While you are making your comment, again
subconsciously, you touch your nose with one hand while talking.
It's observed that during the entirety of your discussion, you
frequently made one move, touching your nose. Are you aware that
touching your nose is a gesture that means you're not saying
what you really felt or meant? Studies suggest that saying
something while touching the nose is not reflective of what's
being said. In this case, rubbing the nose is tantamount to
disapproval of the proposal presented to you.
This is just on scenario, because we all see things from our own
unique perspective, each of us all respond to stimuli
differently.
Okay so... Here's something that I have seen time and time again.
Literally, every time I see both Kevin Costner and Mel Gibson
being interviewed, they are hysterically picking their ears and
frantically rubbing their noses, now tell me I'm reading to much
into it, but it seems to me that they are either bored to tears,
completely uninterested in the interview or they are absolutely
oblivious to this fact. It is hard for me to believe that after
all these years and countless interviews that they are oblivious
to anything, so...you be the judge.
Although there is no definite basis that these specific gestures
of these two mega-successful stars are a sign of anything other
than random physical movements, the art of body language does
exist and for the most part is quite easy to identify. But, In
reality anything could be going on, only the one expressing such
gestures knows for sure...or do they?