Asperger Syndrome Children and Tantrums
Children with Asperger's Syndrome the world over share a common
trait - meltdown - otherwise known as a tantrum, a "birko", a
"go-off" or "spack-attack".
The visible symptoms of meltdown are as varied as the Asperger
children themselves, but every parent is able to describe their
child's meltdown behaviour in intricate detail.
Meltdowns can be short lived, or last as long as two hours. They
can be as infrequent as once a month (often coinciding with the
lunar cycle/full moon) or occur as frequently as 4-6 times a day.
Whatever the frequency and duration, an Asperger child having a
meltdown is difficult for parents/carers/teachers to deal with.
Meltdown in Asperger children is triggered by a response to
their environment. These responses can be caused by avoidance
desire, anxiety or sensory overload. Triggers need to be
recognised and identified.
So how do we deal with a meltdown? What should you do when
meltdown occurs?
An adults' (parents/carers/teachers) behaviour can influence a
meltdown's duration, so always check your response first.
1. Calm down 2. Quiet down 3. Slow down 4. Prioritise safety 5.
Re-establish self-control in the child, then deal with the issue
1. Take 3 slow, deep breaths, and rather than dreading the
meltdown that's about to take place, assure yourself that you've
survived meltdowns 1000 times before and will do so this time
too.
2. Keep your speaking voice quiet and your tone neutrally
pleasant. Don't speak unnecessarily. Less is best. Don't be
"baited" into an argument. (Often Asperger children seem to
"want" to fight. They know how to "push your buttons", so don't
be side-tracked from the meltdown issue).
3. Slow down. Meltdown often occurs at the most inconvenient
time e.g. rushing out the door to school. The extra pressure the
fear of being late creates, adds to the stress of the situation.
(Asperger children respond to referred mood and will pick up on
your stress. This stress is then added to their own.) So forget
the clock and focus on the situation. Make sure the significant
people in your life know your priorities here. Let your boss
know that your Asperger child has meltdowns that have the
capacity to bring life to a standstill, and you may be late. Let
your child's teacher know that if your child is late due to a
meltdown that it's unavoidable, and your child shouldn't be
reprimanded for it.
4. Prioritise safety when your Asperger child is having a
meltdown. Understand that they can be extremely impulsive and
irrational at this time. Don't presume that the safety rules
they know will be utilized while they're melting down. Just
because your Asperger child knows not to go near the street when
they are calm doesn't mean they won't run straight into 4 lanes
of traffic when they are having a meltdown. If your Asperger
child starts melting down when you're driving in the car, pull
over and stop. If your child tends to "flee" when melting down,
don't chase them. This just adds more danger to the situation.
Tail them at a safe distance (maintain visual contact) if
necessary.
5. When your Asperger child is calm and has regained
self-control, he will often be exhausted. Keep that in mind as
you work through the meltdown issue. Reinforce to your child the
appropriate way to express their needs/requests.
Remember that all behaviour is a form of communication, so try
to work out the 'message' your Asperger child is trying to
convey with their meltdown, rather than responding and reacting
to the behaviour displayed.