Doubt is the Dialectical Partner of Faith: Fallen Away Catholic's Discovery

Some people believe that doubting is the antithesis of faith, and to express doubts in God or God's ability or God's love for one and all is a sign the person has little or no faith. But these critics could not be more wrong. Along my spiritual journey to find God and ultimately to find God's love, I have stumbled upon this truth: doubt forces a continuous reexamination of one's faith, and thus doubting is the dialectical partner of practicing one's faith. When have you ever heard a preacher on a Sunday morning religious program ever say "I want to encourage you to have doubts. I want you to reexamine your faith. Don't believe everything I say or you hear anyone else say. Use your mind and your heart to determine what is right." I suspect most readers would answer "never." That fact shows the preachers have been preaching AT the viewers and not TO the viewers. For it is essential to cultivate one's ability to doubt if a person is to have faith in God. When asked during an interview if it was assumed that all the saints doubted at one point or another, the British essayist and lay apostle of Christianity Malcolm Muggeridge offered the following brilliant comment. "It is's not assumed, it's certainly true that they did, and I would agree absolutely with that. The only people I have met in this world who never doubt are materialists and atheists. I think they have a sort of ludicrous certainty that there is nothing transcendental to know. But for me, at any rate, doubt has been an integral part of coming to have faith." As a Catholic, I wonder why doubt and the role of doubting as reinforcement for faith was never expressed in any homily that I heard in Sunday masses, nor was it ever a part of the Catholic catechism classes that I had to attend. One of the prayers I learned early in life is called "The Memorare." The opening stanza of that prayer goes "Remember O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thy intercession was left unaided..." Similarly, we were tought that certain blessings inured to those who prayed the rosary. Among these blessings, are "7. Whoever shall have a true devotion for the rosary shall not die with the sacraments of the Church;" and "11. You shall obtain all you ask of me by the recitation of the rosary." These promises were made to "St. Dominic and Blessed Alan," and the official prayer card that I have listing all fifteen promises carries the official imprimatur of Patrick J. Hayes, D.D., Archbishop of New York. Surely, these same rosary promises have been propagated in dioceses throughout the world and given the official imprimatur of local bishops. I have wondered if this "St. Dominic" is THE St. Dominic, who established the Dominican order of priests and nuns, and was a great figure in spreading education to the masses. Let's examine The Memorare. I can personally attest that on numerous occasions, dozens of occasions, I have sought help and protection from the Blessed Virgin Mary - even when reciting The Memorare - and been left completely unaided. I'm not talking about receiving some unexpected consolation or other assistance than for which I prayed; I am talking about receiving no aid, no assistance, nada, zip. Without doubt, I would just go on mindlessly reciting The Memorare and keep ignoring all the instances in which I received no aid. But I have doubt, intelligence, and reason coupled with my faith. So I now doubt, with considerable evidence to support my doubt, that The Memorare is accurate. I cannot go so far as my Protestant brethren and say praying to Mary the Mother of God is wrong. However, church teaching on what we can expect from those prayers is clearly wrong. My own mother was very devoted to the rosary. She prayed it frequently. I recall one time when she was first feeling the effects of Alzheimer's disease, I found her one evening lying on the couch in the living room, praying the rosary, with tears coming down her cheeks. I asked her immediately what was wrong. She said she called out to the grandchildren playing in the backyard, but no one answered her, and she was scared that she did not know where the grandchildren were. (In fact they were at their homes a thousand miles away and had not come for a visit). But it remains a poignant memory for me that in time of despair where my mother felt she had lost her grandchildren, she turned to the rosary to help turn around this terrible circumstance. My dearly beloved mother died in September 2005 peacefully in her sleep, but she did not receive the sacraments of the Church. Similarly, we know that people who recite the rosary do not receive all they ask; otherwise, everyone who had cancer or everyone who was unemployed would simply pray the rosary and their crises would be solved. It does not happen. We don't need to doubt it does not happen; we know with absolute certainty that many people, and indeed most people, who pray the rosary with some special intention do not receive what they seek. It may surprise you to learn that as a fallen away Catholic, I still pray the rosary with a group of elderly ladies in our church after mass on Fridays. My doubting has convinced me that to dismiss the rosary altogether is wrong. I believe, but I cannot prove, that the rosary achieves enormous consequences in the spiritual world, even if not in our earthly existence. Mostly, I am praying for the souls of my beloved father and mother. I would do anything I could to help them, just as they did what they could to help me in life. The love between us did not end with death, but it goes on in the afterlife. My rosary recitation today, in the wake of obvious evidence on the limitations of the rosary to affect events here on earth, is the best spiritual bouquet that I know to provide them in the afterlife. In summary, to all those struggling with their faith, which should include everyone with a good heart, take comfort in knowing that doubt is not a sin to be avoided. Doubt, according to Malcolm Muggeridge paraphrasing St. Augustine, is like strips of metal in reinforced concrete. Doubt makes faith stronger when the person overcomes those doubts and returns to a modified faith. Reexamine your faith continuously, and you will be led to a deeper, more fulfilling realization of God who gives you faith. Dr. Michael A. S. Guth, Ph.D., J.D. is a Professor of Financial Economics and Law for several universities with on-line degree programs and an attorney at law in Tennessee. He writes legal briefs and appellate briefs for law firms as well as his own clients. On the retail side, his law practice seeks to empower individuals to represent themselves in court without a lawyer. He assists these pro se parties by drafting court documents (pleadings) and performing legal research. His contact information is shown on each of the business web pages above. In addition, Dr. Guth is a financial quant and former investment banker, having worked for Credit Suisse First Boston and Deutsche Bank in London and Frankfurt. He specializes in developing investment strategies and hedging techniques using derivatives. For five years, he consulted to the electric power and gas industry in the USA, even managing the Middle Office (financial risk control) function for two trading floors. Dr. Guth has taught over 30 undergraduate and gradute courses on-line. See http://michaelguth.com/courses.htm