Overcoming "Unhappiness"
Overcoming "Unhappiness" by Murphy Toerner, MA, LPC, NCC, LMFT
There are many reasons why one could struggle with being
"unhappy." A disappointing event, an unmet need, a thwarted
goal, a traumatic past, a current betrayal or problem or injury.
All of these could precipitate unhappiness (if not full blown
depression).
To overcome unhappiness which is caused by any of the above, one
needs to process (deal with or walk through) what has happened
and what they need to do to regain their emotional balance and
their emotional stability.
Sometimes we can find ourselves living in perpetual unhappiness
and it is not solely brought about by an event, unmet need,
thwarted goal, etc. It is brought about because of what we tell
ourselves in our heads about these events. Let me explain. Jesus
tells us in the Gospel of John that ... "you shall know the
truth and the truth will set you free."
Many people have come to see the practical application of this
biblical truth. It is not what happens to us that makes us
unhappy or depressed, it is our interpretation of what happens;
it is the significance that we attach to the event that actually
makes us unhappy or depressed. The truth is that many, many
events in our lives are actually neutral. Our interpretation of
them and their significance is entirely up to us. At this point,
we have to be careful how we CHOOSE to interpret what has
happened. We have to be careful in CHOOSING the significance we
attach to the event.
The cool thing is when we begin the process of taking
responsibility for our individual emotional state, we can make
great strides in learning to be "more than a conqueror" (Romans
8). We can actually be empowered by the Holy Spirit to become
more resilient than we were in the past. When we choose to be
very careful about how we interpret events and the significance
we attach to them, what we are doing is operating with the "mind
of Christ." His "mind" (His way of thinking) brings increased
stability to us. Centered thinking; Christ-like thinking usually
produces centered, Christ-like emotional responses. By walking
in the Spirit more consistently we actually become more
balanced, more stable, and more whole.
When we initially hear something that seems to go against the
grain of what we have believed for a long time, we are
skeptical. We adamantly challange the "new idea." Please
prayerfully consider what is being presented here and try to
apply it in some small way and see how it can make a difference
in your long-term sense of well-being.
Begin by embracing a few truths: * I am responsible for my
emotional well-being. * Most events in my life are "neutral." *
I attach significance or meaning to the events in my life. * I
can choose to bring God into my circumstances and try to see
things from His perspective. I can ask myself, 'What could God
be "going after" by allowing this event to happen? * Examine the
significance you are attaching to the event. * Challenge
yourself to "tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the
truth" about the event. * Take "every thought captive to the
obedience of Christ" (2 Cor. 10:4-6). * Choose to "renew your
mind" (Romans 12:2). * Ask God to help you and empower you in
your attempts to do these things.
Try these activities and new ways of thinking and experience new
emotional results in your quest to deal with "unhappiness" in
your life.