Celebrating Romantic Love
Yesterday, I found this quote scribbled in one of my old
note-pads: "With love, nothing else matters; without it,
everything else gets on your nerves."
Every Valentine's Day, flowers, cards, chocolate candy, and
presents abound and love letters are sent between lovers.
Widespread symbols are hearts and arrows, flowers especially red
roses, cupid, and the color red or pink.
February 14 is the time when birds start mating; therefore,
since the olden times, the celebration of romantic love was
traced to this day. The earliest date this holiday is found in
would have to be in Greek mythology attributing February 14 to
the marriage of Zeus and Hera. On Zeus and Hera's trail, comes
Lupercalia or the festival of Faunus, the god of fertility in
ancient Rome.
Then, there are several Christian saints named Valentine to whom
this celebration of love can be attributed. Most of these St.
Valentines were martyred for one reason or another, like the St.
Valentine in Rome who aided prisoners or the St. Valentine in
Africa. Among the martyrs, the most likely St. Valentine for
whom the Valentine's day was named is the saint who performed
soldier weddings, disregarding Emperor Claudius II's order
banning Roman soldiers from marriage.
Without any doubt, celebration of love leaped into the earliest
centuries and to the time of Renaissance. The oldest known
valentine is a poem written in 1415 by the duke of Orleans to
this wife, while he was in prison. It is kept in the manuscript
collection of the British Library in London, England.
Sending love poems, letters, and cards to lovers soon became a
fashion. During the 1800's books of romantic poetry were
published for Valentine's day. From inside those books, young
men chose poetry to give to their sweethearts. In the United
States, most of all valentines people sent to each other were
imported from Europe until 1914 when the American publishers
jumped into action.
In our time, celebrating Valentine's Day custom still exists and
flourishes, even if St. Valentine was taken down from sainthood
by the Roman Catholic Church. During the latest two decades,
celebration of Valentine's Day has spread to India and China,
probably due to these countries' sudden economic boom.
Accordingly, Valentine's Day has become the most card-sending
time of the year after Christmas, with most of the cards
purchased by women. Not only that, elaborate, tasteful, and
original artistic card creations have come into existence and
are now being offered even on the internet, like those in
www.prye.com.
Since there is so much ado about it, let's try to define
romantic love. It is said that real love is unconditional. This
is such an appealing statement and so idealistic that we wish it
were true.
The notion of romantic love, however, is based on the idea of
preservation of our species and works better on reciprocal give
and take than on one-sided martyrdom. Romantic love is based on
a genuine concern for the welfare and happiness of the other
partner without giving away from one's own safety and personal
power.
Experiencing truly lasting romantic love takes time, work, and
patience. Once the initial attraction and fantasy wears off,
sometimes we stumble and doubt our partner and even our own
feelings. This is nothing to worry about but a natural outcome
of being human. A good and enduring relationship takes time,
effort, understanding, and acceptance to cultivate. The idea is
not to give up but work attentively at perking up the
relationship.
When two people care about each other's happiness, pleasure of
being together becomes delightful and healthy. Genuine praise,
little loving gestures, kind words, and true caring enhances
such a relationship greatly and that's what makes the
celebration of Valentine's day or the celebration of love so
important in our lives.