Want A Second Date? How And When To Set It Up
So you went out with a person that really made you think you
would like to see them again. You get home after what you felt
was a fun an positive date. This person is on your mind and now
you are thinking, "When should I call this person again? Is
tomorrow too soon?'
Well, you have a few questions to ask yourself first. Foremost,
at the end of the date, did your date suggest you call them? If
so, did their request seem sincere or did their request seem to
be a matter of courtesy. Do your best to recall that parting
moment of your first date and reconstruct the facial expressions
and contact points of your date. Did your date extend a
handshake when saying so? Did your date blush while smiling when
asking you to call. These are all things you need to ask
yourself and honestly review from memory. A cold handshake or
other neutral responses with a request to call them could very
well mean you are going to be screened via caller ID and cast
into voice mail limbo. In other words, "I didn't want to be rude
and can't tell you in person, so date my voice mail. If you
leave more than 10 messages I will go to court and get a
restraining order. So, don't go there."
However, let's say you got a great vibe at the end of the date.
At this point you are probably debating all the so called rules
you have heard and seen about when the right time to call the
person after a date. You have probably heard about the "2 Day"
rule and other tactics. After all pop culture dictates you don't
want to come off as too interested or desperate. Following these
flawed rules is what some call "game playing" and this is not
the way to go.
Anyone serious about meeting the "one" will avoid games. The
best route to finding your true match is always honesty. So, how
can you be honest, but not appear desperate. There are many ways
to stay in contact with your date without seeming desperate or
playing "2 Day" rule games. After all, perhaps your date wants
to hear from you as well.
This is where the Internet is your friend. Hopefully over the
course of your first date you got your date's e-mail address
along with their phone number. If not, don't fret. This can be
over come and will be explained later. Anyway, there is a quick
and easy way to establish contact the day after that first date
and not seem too pushy or needy. If you have your date's e-mail,
send them an e-mail no earlier and no latter than early
afternoon the next day. In your e-mail mention that you enjoyed
your time with them and after getting to know them a bit you
thought they might get a kick out of this. After the "this" post
a link to a humorous or cool website that you recall matched
your date's interest. Use good taste here, porn, is a bad idea
(that is unless your date is a porn star, then maybe that would
work).
This simple e-mail will work in many ways. For one, your date
will realize you were actually paying attention to them during
the date (always a good thing). Secondly, this leaves the door
open for them to write back. In which case, they may or may not
talk about a second date. Either way, the gates of communication
are open at this point in a rather non-threatening way. If your
date does not respond then you may assume you read your end of
date message the wrong way. So, keep that in consideration
before you call. However, don't expect your date to respond to
your e-mail instantly. After all, they may be playing the "2
Day" rule game. If that is the case you may have to consider if
this is the person you really want to see again or not. Or maybe
they gave you the -e-voice mail treatment. Don't fret at this
point, some things are just not meant to be and this works to
your favor.
If you didn't get your date's e-mail address on the first date,
then a call the next day will work as well. Call, and say
something like, "(Their name here), What is your e-mail, I found
this (whatever was their interest cool or funny site) you might
like. What's your e-mail and I'll send it to you." This may
start an entire awesome conversation. If so, that is a good
sign. If you get a voice mail then ask them to e-mail you so you
can send them the link. Make sure you spell out your e-mail
address clearly on the voice mail. In the case of voice mail
don't call again because if you don't hear back then your date
probably does not want to hear from you again. Shake it off and
move on.
Most of all remember that we are all different, and even though
you may feel a connection towards someone, they may not feel the
same. Test the waters, don't play games, and be honest. These
are sure steps to finding the one for you. It often involves
trial and error, but in the end, the one for you is worth it.
In summary, if phone numbers are being exchanged at the end of
the first date try to get an e-mail address as well. Pay
attention to body language at the end of the first date as well.
Don't expect the person of your dreams to be your date, even if
you got great vibes from them. Let honest communication lead the
way for your next contact. Don't play with so called rules of
dating. Let your next communication with your date be a friendly
message that does not show expectations such as, "when do you
want to go out again." Simply offer a message, via e-mail if
possible that shows your date that you listened to them and
learned something about them. If it was meant to be,
establishing that second date should flow through subsequent
conversations.
Now go e-mail to get that second date, and good luck.