The One Hard, No Exceptions Rule Of Online Dating
Online dating is no longer the pariah that it was back in say,
2000. Almost every single person I know has tried it between
then and now. Hell, I've even tried it. It's not as bad as some
say it is.
As far as I'm concerned, there is one hard rule when it comes to
online dating, and I'll let you in on it shortly.
Let me tell you first, about a friend of mine.
I have a female friend who was so jaded with regard to
relationships and dating, that she had been single for about 3
years. Her past experiences with men were so negative, that
she'd rather not risk getting into another relationship with
anyone. Her last boyfriend would go to the bar, and once he was
good and liquored up, he would call her from there to let her
know that she should move out of their apartment, because he had
found someone else. Every other time that he went to the bar, he
would do this. And yet, she stayed with him. This was not
someone that she found online. This was someone that she knew
from work, and had begun dating.
After finally breaking up with him (she stayed with him for 3
years), she decided that she would rather be single than be
involved with men again, who, in her opinion, were all basically
dishonest cheats.
After 3 years of literal celibacy, she decided that maybe she
should get over her general distrust of men, and I convinced her
to try online dating, because I had done it for awhile, and
hadn't yet found "the one", but I met some really nice people.
On my friend's first date, she thought that she might be a tad
late, so she called this dude to let him know that. As it turned
out, she was right on time, but as she got to the restaurant,
she received a text message from him saying that he was in the
parking lot, and that she should call him when she entered the
store (coffee shop). Red flag #1. In our conversation about
this, she distinctly asked me, "Do you think that's weird?" To
which I replied, "Don't YOU think it's weird? You should."
This guy also said in his profile that he was 6'0" tall. When he
came into the coffee shop, it turned out that he was much closer
to 5'8" than six feet. Red flag #2. She ignored it because she
thought they got along so well. That should have been the only
time that she met him. Remember this about online dating;
someone who lies about something as obvious as his/her height or
weight, will lie about anything.
On their second date, she went to his house to watch a movie. At
which time, he told her that he had guns at his place (that she
never saw), because he used to be a security guard. Then, he
told her that he's also in the British Army, and that's also why
he has guns. Okay people, we don't live anywhere near Britain.
Red flags #3 and #4!! Then she asked me if I thought he was
being truthful. I was astounded. I wanted to reach out and shake
her! Do you want to know why she actually decided to stop seeing
this dude? Because he doesn't like Oprah! All of that other
nonsense was acceptable to her, but dude doesn't like Oprah, and
she dumps him!
The one hard rule about online dating? Follow your gut.
Obviously, my friend was skeptical about whether or not this
dude was telling the truth. She had that feeling in her gut, but
chose not to follow it. Thank God he told her that he doesn't
like Oprah, or who knows how much she would have put up with.
Follow your gut. If something doesn't seem right, run. Run far,
and run fast. Don't look back. If a woman tells you on your
first date that she's on medication for depression, run. Not to
sound unsympathetic, but if she's giving you that information on
the first date, she most likely has problems that are much
bigger than that.
If after your first date, the other party calls you on your way
home, to ask, "Well, what did you think? Do you think we're a
match?" Run. And keep running.
Follow your gut. I can't say it enough. If it just doesn't feel
right, run.
Here's to great dating!
Chris A. Cameron
Copyright 2006 Chris A. Cameron All Rights Reserved.