DNA of Leaders: Move beyond the fear to be connected
DNA of Leaders: Move Beyond Fear to be Connected
Even though technologies enable us to dissolve boundaries of
space and time and connect us in exciting ways, we still face
the same old challenge: to dissolve boundaries among colleagues,
to build trust, and to engage our people.
We-centric leaders lift people out of fear, frustration, and
anger, which cause people to disengage from each other. They
create a culture than enables colleagues to be connected,
involved in living the values and vision.
When people fell disconnected, they become reactive, project
their anxiety onto others, create more fear, blame others for
what is missing in their lives, reject first to avoid being
rejected and disengage.
When colleagues work in concert, they learn from each other,
develop higher-level skills and wisdom, meet performance goals,
and turn breakdowns into breakthroughs. When leaders turn to
others for suggestions and value them, they create a community
that looks forward to coming to work.
Learn to manage three dynamics: First, learn to manage your own
reactions - bullying, intimidating and micro managing don't get
results; inspire others to higher performance. Second, put your
ego behind you - what matters is what "we can do together" not
what "I" can do. Third, let go of the past; focus on the
challenges facing you and build healthy, mutually beneficial
relationships.
Mastering these three dynamics changes everything. Your ability
to lead will increase exponentially, and you will enhance your
ability to create inspiring environments where people work
together for mutual gain, growth and understanding.
Rather than get tangled up in conversations about blame, fear
and frustrations about what is not happening at work, you
establish a positive context for transformation by engaging
people in ongoing conversations about what has, can and will
work to create a transformation. In doing so, you focus on what
needs to happen to address the challenges and with that focus
and commitment, you develop into the best company possible.
Rather than trying to fix the past, you create the future with
others.
Hard wiring the DNA
As a leader, you can shape the experiences people have at work
by reducing fear and inner focus and creating cultures that
facilitate enhanced sensitivity, mutual support, vital
communication and engagement in the strategy. When we live in
toxic fear-based cultures, we become unhealthy in mind and
spirit. We can react like cancer cells - like cells that stop
communicating with the immune system designed to protect the
whole body, cells that start to grow all over because they have
lost their sensitivity to other cells and cells that create
roots and lock themselves in isolation, drawing nourishment from
the body and weakening it.
When we live in fear, we withdraw, build our own "story" of
reality, imagine others are out to get us and react accordingly.
We stop turning to others for help and stop taking feedback and
advice from others.
Universal fears include the fears of being excluded - so we
create networks and exclude others first. Being rejected - so we
reject first. Being judged unfairly - so we criticize and blame
others. Failing - so we avoid taking risks and making mistakes.
Losing power - so we intimidate others to get power. Feeling
stupid - so we either don't speak up or speak too much. Looking
bad in front of others - so we save face.
Universal desires include the desire to be included on a winning
team, be appreciated, successful, powerful, creative, smart and
influential; to have a leadership voice and meaning and purpose;
to learn, grow and explore.
When we perceive the world through a lens of fear, our egos
drive us into habit patterns of retention. Over time, we
incorporate defensive behavior patterns into our daily routines.
We turn away from others when we are coming from protective
behaviors, rather than turning to others for help in making
vital changes in our lives.
Unleashing Humanity
Leaders create cultures where all team members can contribute
their talents and potential. Potential is often invisible - yet
to be discovered. It's born out of the healthy interactions of
one person with another. As we interact, we trigger responses.
Once you learn new strategies and techniques for rewiring your
life, relationships, and workplace from those that are focused
on fear to those that are focused on achieving outrageous
results, your life (and the lives of others who work with you)
will radically shift. When we live in a positive, inspiring,
inter-dependent, catalytic, expressive workplace, we all share
the power for turning a toxic culture into a healthy,
we-centric, inclusive workplace. From this new vantage point,
you gain a new perspective about what you can create with others.
Try This
When colleagues work together to discover Best Practices, they
shift from focusing on the negative, refocusing on looking for
the positive practices that help the organization grow to its
potential. Best Practices represent what is good and what works,
and it defines what it means to be a world-class company that
attracts customers. Sharing Best Practices is a way of elevating
the skills and talent of everyone.
Create a Best Practices forum to change the focus from loss to
gain.
- Bring a team together to discover and share Best Practices. -
Choose people who work in different ways can raise the IQ for
everyone. - Use the Best Practices framework to catalyze
cooperation and teamwork among colleagues who come from
different areas and work in different ways. - Ask team members
to think of things they do that have a positive impact. - Ask
the team members to describe what they are working on, what
approaches they are taking, what impact they are having and how
to transfer this knowledge to others. - Each member of the team
presents these Best Practices to colleagues - The facilitator
captures what each person is doing to create success. -
Participants ask questions to clarify the Best Practices and to
learn how to transfer them to other situations. The end result
is that people feel heard and valued.
The hardest part of leadership is that everyone wants to play an
important role and be recognized for their contributions.
Sometimes leaders find it difficult to manage the relationships,
the competing demands and needs and the lack of resources - and
so territoriality arises. Sometimes we lose our sensitivity to
others. We become so enchanted with our own notoriety and
entrenched in our own successes that we forget to honor others
for their contributions.
Leaders need to create a feed-back-rich culture so that everyone
is open to feedback on their ideas and behavior. This way
everyone grows. As a leader, you can promote mutuality by
tapping into the vital instinct of growth. You can encourage
everyone to be sensitive to personal and group boundaries, while
helping them to see how personal growth can best be achieved by
expanding opportunities for growth of the enterprise.
Leader Behavior
We often turn to turf wars, silos and territoriality when we
fear we are losing what we hold dear. Fear drives us into our
I-centric behavior, and we protect rather than partner.
Health comes from creating environments that honor the seven
universal desires we all have for making contributions, for
expressing ourselves:
- Audit yourself and see if you are creating environments that
acknowledge the seven key universal desires. - If you are not
creating environments that encourage mutuality and support, are
you open to feedback? - Identify your areas of strength.
Continue to do this, because it creates healthy environments. -
Identify your developmental opportunities - leader behaviors
that you have not been practicing that create a supportive,
healthy culture. - Create opportunities daily to experiment with
the leader behaviors that you have not been practicing. -
Monitor your impact. Notice how you can reduce territoriality
and increase positive energy and support.
Judith E. Glaser, CEO of Benchmark Communications, Inc. and
author of Creating WE: Change I-Thinking to We-Thinking & Build
a Healthy Thriving Organization; Platinum Press, 2005. Selected
as one of the best business books of 2005. www.creatingwe.com;
and The DNA of Leadership, February 2006; 212-307-4386.
Nancy Snell, CEC, is a certified professional business coach
with a broadcasting career that spanned 25+ years. She
specializes in workplace issues and coaches professionals who
are ready to get unblocked, unfrustrated and on track. Nancy
served as a Director on the Board of the NYC - ICF in 2005.
www.nancysnell.com 212-517-6488