The Secret To Becoming a Real Dad
Why bother reading YET ANOTHER study, grinding out the
insignificant details of why we have YET ANOTHER social problem?
ALL problems in our society really only come from ONE problem.
The trouble in our past, present and future can be explained in
one simple sentence...
Failing fathers create challenging and troubled children!
I'll prove it...
Let me take you on a brief tour of the history of 'failing
fathers' so you can see what kind of children they've produced.
Let's start with Saddam Hussein...
When Saddam's father left the family, it was up to his mother to
raise him. When she could not, he was given over to his uncle
Khairallah Tulfah, an army officer and Arab nationalist.
A deep bond between Saddam and Khairallah developed.
When Saddam was still a boy, Khairallah was expelled from the
army and sent to prison for 5 years because of his public
sympathy for Adolf Hitler and the Nazi belief system.
With Khairallah away at prison, young Saddam was sent back to
live with his mother who had remarried a poor and reportedly
lazy man named Hassan Al-Ibrahim.
Saddam's step father found him to be nothing but an
inconvenience. When he was not neglecting Saddam, Hassan
Al-Ibrahim would repeatedly abuse him.
And what kind of adult did Saddam grow up to be?
I don't think I even need to answer that.
Let's move on to Adolph Hitler...
Adolph's father was more than strict. Adolph's older brother ran
away from home to avoid the violent beatings from his father.
Adolph's father then shifted his attention to Adolph who then
received daily beatings from his father.
What about Joseph Stalin?
Joseph Stalin's father was frequently drunk and often inflicted
brutal blows on young Joseph.
Stalin's years of cruel treatment from his father developed a
vindictive attitude that created his desire for revenge against
any figure of authority.
Now let's look at the children of FAITHFUL fathers...
George Washington's memory of his father instilled a work ethic
and integrity into George at an early age. Even though his
father didn't live to see George's twelfth birthday, he fully
imprinted his POSITIVE values on George during his most
impressionable years.
Martin Luther King Jr. had one particular childhood memory
etched into his mind regarding his father. He recalled his
father taking him to Atlanta's segregated downtown to buy shoes.
When the clerk insisted that both father and son move to the
back of the store to be waited on, Martin Jr. watched his father
speak firmly to the clerk saying, "We'll either buy shoes
sitting here or we won't buy shoes at all."
Martin Senior took Jr.'s hand and confidently walked out of the
store.
The LAST example...
Football coaching legend Vince Lombardi is quoted endlessly. His
father, Harry Lombardi, regaled his children with philosophies
about freedom and responsibility. He consistently lectured them
on his triangle of success: sense of duty, respect for authority
and strong mental discipline.
So there you have it.
Saddam Hussein, Joseph Stalin and Adolph Hitler are children of
FAILING fathers. George Washington, Martin Luther King Jr. and
Vince Lombardi are children of FAITHFUL fathers.
Which did YOU have? A FAILING father or a FAITHFUL father?
To find out, give your father a "Real Dad Score".
The following definition sets the standard for what a TRUE
father must be in order to produce a positive and productive
child.
The first thing you need to do is scan your memories during the
first ten years of your life. Throughout those years, rate your
father according to the following definition on a scale of
1-100%, (With 100 being the highest rating)
REAL DAD DEFINITION: My dad was consistently tough but fair. He
took a genuine interest in the challenges, opportunities and
joys of each of his unique children.
Look back at your childhood years with your father.
If your father's score is in the 90's, chances are, you're
already successful. If you rated your father in the 80's, you're
leading a content life with very few struggles.
The 70's mean you may have some issues, but they're not anything
you can't work around. Read Dad scores in the 60's indicate the
beginning of life troubles.
Real Dad scores in the 50's and below create a troublesome life
unless you deliberately rebel against the way you were raised.
When your Real Dad score drops below the 50's, the effects can
be seen in your career, marriage, social life and the lives of
your OWN children as well.
You've heard the slogan, "The apple doesn't fall far from the
tree", but now you can see how it applies to real life.
And that's the profound truth.
Fathers create the quality of "apple" (son/daughter) and with
few exceptions, apples remain where they fall.
If you have troubles today, it's NOT your fault, but it IS your
responsibility to take control of them. Should you place blame
on your father and be angry that he saddled you with these
problems?
Of course not.
What your father did or didn't do DOESN'T MATTER ANYMORE.
It's HISTORY. There's nothing you can do to change your past.
Since your father can't repair the damage he did, placing blame
on him only gives you temporary emotional relief, but that will
quickly wear off leaving you back to square 1 - STUCK with your
emotional pain once again.
Bottom line?
Don't blame your dad for what he did back in your childhood. He
did what he did based on what HE KNEW at the time. (What he
learned from HIS father.)
This is the reason why generations of successful families
produce generations of successful adults as seen in the
Rockefellers.
It also explains why there are "crime families".
If you didn't have a Real Dad yourself, you can STILL change the
course of history for YOUR CHILDREN.
Start by focusing on following the "Real Dad" definition and
applying it to every situation with your children.
Repeat the definition to yourself during those times when your
children challenge you and test your patience. You must resist
the urge to give in to your negative feelings that tell you
otherwise.
YOUR CHILDREN NEED YOU TO SUCCEED. They NEED a FAITHFUL father.
Now that you have a clear target or goal that you can strive to
achieve, focus on the Real Dad definition.
It will keep you going in the right direction and ensure that
you raise a confident and successful child who will contribute
to our nation's future.
And lastly, if you're a woman reading this thinking it doesn't
apply to you...THINK AGAIN.
YOUR JOB is to spread the word to the men you know about what a
Real Dad is and why it's so important to become one.
By doing this, we'll be able to stop this vicious cycle of
troubled fathers creating troubled children once and for all.