Four Things I Learned About Potty Training a Strong Willed Child
My daughter was immovable when it came to potty training: she
didn't want to go potty, and that was that! She was four and a
half and still using diapers, and I was at my wit's end. During
the two years I spent trying, in one way or another, to get her
to go potty, I learned four important and interesting things
about potty training a strong willed child.
1. You can't force it. There are two things that you
cannot force your child to do. You cannot force your child to
eat, and you cannot force him to go potty. So no matter how much
I praised, rewarded, begged, scolded, or guilt-tripped my
daughter, she was only going to use the potty when she was good
and ready. No amount of intervention on my part was going to
change this immutable fact.
2. You know better than your doctor. During the two years
I battled with my daughter over potty training, I took her to
three different doctors and even to a social worker who
specializes in children who are potty-resisters! Once we ruled
out any physical or medical problems, every single professional
I spoke with gave me a different opinion on why my daughter was
resisting and what I should do about it. They all agreed on one
thing - that my daughter and I were locked in a battle of wills,
and I was losing the battle big time. But the advice I received
was varied and often contradictory. I came to realize that I
knew better than they did, because I knew my daughter.
3. Don't take it personally. I can't tell you how many
hours I spent angry, frustrated, even in tears, because I
couldn't get my daughter out of diapers. When she reached four
and half, I felt like a failure as a mother. Don't fall into
this way of thinking! Your child's unwillingness to go potty is
no reflection on your parenting ability.
4. Eventually, your child will go (all children do). All
children master the potty, and your child is no exception. If
you have ruled out any physical or medical problems that may be
preventing your child from mastering the potty, your child will
surprise you one day.
My daughter was fully trained well before she turned five years
old, and now that she is almost six, I still find it miraculous
that she willingly goes to the bathroom without any reminders or
accidents! It will happen for your child, too.