Organizing for the Single Parent
One of the trickiest organizing situations is the cluttered, one
parent family. Often, the story goes something like this: The
house is cluttered. Perhaps not cluttered enough to qualify for
a TV makeover show, but cluttered enough to cause friction among
the family members. Mom tries to keep the home organized, but is
overwhelmed. Toys are everywhere, and every surface is covered
with stacks of paper, mail, dishes, and other assorted items. In
short, the place looks like a typical "before" photo. Everybody
is blaming everybody, the tension is rising, and nobody knows
what to do. With nowhere else to turn, mom calls or emails me,
requesting my help ASAP.
In these situations, common wisdom says that the decluttering
process should start with (a) the most important or central
room/area, or (b) the room/area that is causing the greatest
stress. Whether it's the family room, TV room, or kitchen, a
high-traffic common area seems like the logical place to begin.
And sometimes, the client & I do agree to begin there.
More recently, however, I have been trying a different approach,
and it seems to be working well. In our scenario, mom is
expected to maintain an organized home, but is getting no help
from the rest of the family. She is surrounded by clutter, and
the weight on her shoulders is getting heavier. She wakes to
clutter, dresses to clutter, cooks amid clutter, goes to sleep
to clutter, etc., and it is zapping her energy.
My suggestion is simple. Radical but simple. Let's start the
organizing process with mom. Let's start by organizing mom's
bedroom. Is it the most important room in the house? Quite
frankly, it might be. Mom is surrounded by clutter from sunup to
sundown. Giving mom an organized bedroom achieves several
things. First, it guarantees that she will no longer have to go
to bed and awake to clutter. She can begin and end each day with
a clear mind, in a peaceful environment. Second, everyone,
including mom, deserves a place to call her/his own, free from
everyone else's stuff. Third, giving mom an organized bedroom
builds her confidence. It shows her that positive change is
possible. If she can learn how to organize and maintain her own
space, then it just might be possible to apply those organizing
principles to other areas of the home, and to transfer those
skills to her children.