The other day, I indulged in one of my many guilty pleasures. Specifically, I watched a programme called "Face Lifts From Hell."

Like many factual programmes, you can learn a little something from "Face Lifts from Hell", and tonight I took away this little nugget: It's not immigrants or asylum seekers that are putting a drain on the national health service. It's idiots from this country.

One woman on tonight's programme (and I don't want to appear misogynistic, but there were no men featured; draw your own conclusions) went on a surgery holiday. The basic premise is that you go on a package trip with a group of other desperate people, and they cart you off to Poland to have various bits of your anatomy sucked, snipped, sliced and tightened.

This woman, who, due to numerous face-lifts, looked like she was constantly hurtling forwards at about 97 miles an hour, had some sort of breast-enhancement and, after surgery, was taken to a small apartment in a block with all the other patients and left there to recuperate. She was essentially dumped in a flat in Poland and left to her own devices with a group of equally vacuous and recently-mutilated women.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, she contracted an infection.

She then came back to the UK and, at a cost of