I'll tell you it's quite a relief to me, since I kind of thought that my coffee habit would've been considered bad and I really wasn't about to give it up even if Einstein had come back from the dead and told me it caused war, famine and plague. That would've been just too bad, because I'm too much of a grouch in the morning without it.

This isn't just a theory on my part, either. At a former job of mine, people wouldn't even talk to me until they had verified that I'd had my coffee. They would come up to me with a question, hesitate, then ask: "Have you had your coffee yet?" If I said 'no' they would tell me to 'never mind' and walk off. It took me a while to figure out that it was probably because I was unbearable otherwise. After realizing this, I was hurt, and troubled that co-workers thought I was unpleasant. Then it occurred to me that this might not be such a bad thing, because inevitably the question they'd be bringing me was some problem or other and if I never admitted that I'd had coffee, they would go away and so would the problem.

It worked like a dream. For awhile. Then they would just go get me my coffee for me and then pester me with whatever they wanted me to deal with.

Where I work now, I alway make the coffee in the morning. It's such an easy and cheap way to bring joy into so many peoples' lives. And I'm all about joy.

About the Author

Steve Sommers is the author of Breakfast with the Antichrist