Completing What You HAVEN'T Started

If your life's not quite the way you want it, there might be a surprising hidden factor that's inhibiting your efforts. The problem may not be what you're doing, but the things you leave alone.

You see, your inner mind knows all you do - and DON'T do. The picture that it gives you of who you are and what you can achieve - your self-image - is made up of lots of influences, but two of the most important are the things it sees you doing, and the things you know you SHOULD do... but you don't.

These things are sometimes known as incompletes. They can include all sorts of things, from projects you've begun and never finished and bills you've not yet paid to cluttered desks or bedrooms and all the things you look for good excuses not to start.

Some of them are big, important things and some of them are trivial. Even if they're all very minor, they can snowball into a whole lot of inner criticism.

You can suppress it so your conscious mind won't think about it, but that won't impress your inner mind one bit.

In fact, because your inner mind is so determined that it's going to help you get the things you want, and knows that this is something that you need to do before that's going to happen, blocking the subject from your conscious mind can make your inner mind try all the harder to bring it back to your attention.

What kind of incompletes might cause you difficulties? The list is just as individual as you are. Basically, it comprises anything at all that makes you feel, at any level whatsoever, uncomfortable that you haven't done it yet.

From filing your taxes to washing the car, from changing your career to finding just the right gift for your mother's birthday, every single task you don't control's controlling YOU.

The good news is, to put this right is EASY. Incompletes stop being incomplete as soon as you start taking action on them. The moment you take charge of them you turn them into projects that you're working on.

For example, that neglected patch of ground outside your window is now a garden you're re-shaping, and a debt becomes a managed loan as soon as you start paying by instalments.

As long as you keep taking action that's appropriate, your inner mind will send you signals of approval that transform your self-esteem. The feeling of relief and fresh creative energy this brings you has to be experienced to be believed.


To control all your new projects it's a good idea to use an organizer. It can be paper-based or electronic - even an A4 file with some dividers will do fine.

The important thing's to keep the information in one place where you can review it every week to check your progress. If you don't, your new projects will just drift back to being incompletes again.

For each one, plan the steps you need to take to finish it. You can find lots of no-cost brainstorming and mindmap software through an online search that makes this easy (and a lot of fun!).

Give each step a deadline that you can achieve. For many people, choosing deadlines is the hardest part - you can't always tell how long a step is going to take until you take it.

It helps to break each step down into the very smallest action you can take on it, like making a phone call, getting some more organizer stationery, etc. If you can put a realistic time-scale on your smallest actions, you'll find your target dates have largely set themselves.

You can always change a deadline if you need to, just as long as you're making a real effort to complete the task. If not, it doesn't matter what excuses that you give your conscious mind - your inner mind's not fooled.

Once a week, review your progress. If you need more steps, or see new ways, to get a project finished, or you become aware of new things turning into incompletes, you can adjust your planning to make room for them.

When you've finished your review, congratulate yourself. No matter how much still remains to be completed, you've established your control of something that has previously held the upper hand with you.

That's the first, and often biggest, step you have to take to reach your dreams. Aislinn O'Connor is a self-development consultant who runs http://www.subliminal-self-development.com . You can download a sample of her new book, "50 Simple Shortcuts To A Sparkling, Successful YOU", from http://www.seahawk-publishing.com .