Before You Say I Do
One out of every two marriages ends in divorce. Millions of
Americans are filing for divorce. As the divorce rate continues
to escalate in America, dating relationships are becoming more
popular.
Social scientists have led us in the wrong direction, as they
embrace incorrect solutions to a momentous problem. They are
sending forth a message that is misleading pertaining to dating
relationships. This message by social scientists will continue
to mislead individuals who sincerely want to establish healthy
dating relationships, with the hope of embracing an everlasting
marriage. In this article, we will explore the truth behind the
soaring divorce rate. In our search for a remedy, we are
spending billions of dollars annually chasing illusionary
solutions.
In the previous article, "The Art of Selection", we explored how
the selection process is retarded when selecting our dating
partners. One's selfish soul perverts the meaning of dating that
may lead to marriage by focusing on imagination and desires.
Take a step further; let us look at imaginary pleasures and
security. Trapped in the fairy tale syndrome, we pursue dating
and love relationships in an effort to receive immediate and
future gratification from our dating partners. The selfish soul
commits acts that weaken the foundation of a healthy
relationship from the very start. The potential dating partner
commits blameworthy acts to make a good impression. He/she gives
a misleading representation of oneself, being overly kind,
spending extravagantly, being conscious of one's physical
appearance, always appearing truthful, having late night
telephone marathons, and displaying a disposition of caring and
commonality of interests are commonplace when painting a
handsome picture of deception. In one's effort to insure the
acquisition of his/her desires, he/she resorts to deception to
consummate personal relationships that eventually end in
disaster. This activity is the beginning of the breakdown in the
marriage union before a potential marriage couple says, "I do".
Before marriage and during the courtship, the relationship seems
magical. Every day is a heartwarming experience. It feels so
surreal and no one likes to be aroused from a dream. This state
of elation takes total control of us, blocking out any semblance
of rational thought. Helplessly hypnotized, we become a servant
to an oppressive master, our own desires. We absorb this form of
deception similar to a sponge that absorbs water that eventually
transforms into tears.
Allowing our desires to be the criteria to make decisions
exposes us to the most destructive form of a relationship. It
becomes impossible to be fair, just, equitable, impartial,
unprejudiced, unbiased, objective or dispassionate with others
or ourselves. If the family structure is the foundation of
society, then we must rethink our strategy when approaching a
serious relationship.
As the dawn of reality rushes in and the dusk of deception
slowly fades away, reflecting the light of reason, it becomes
apparent we are in an undesirable dating relationship. It is no
surprise that our mate's disposition changes. He/she goes from
being overly kind to being overly aggressive, mentally and
physically. Sexual passion dissipates, extravagant spending
dissolves, the truth becomes lies, commonality of interest
changes to two strangers passing by one another in the night,
and the list of deceptions continues to unfold.