There once was a man who wanted to teach himself how to sky dive? He bought a parachute at a garage sale, leased a plane and when the time came, literally jumped into his new adventure.

As the man was free-falling toward earth on his very first attempt, he pulled the ripcord only to discover it was not attached to the parachute. Looking down at his fate, he was surprised to see a woman shooting up from below with a burned-out match held between her thumb and fore-finger.

As they rushed by one another, the man yelled,