What Are You Waiting For?
What Are You Waiting For? by Mary Ann Bailey, MC
I was recently talking with my coach about some new marketing
ideas I wanted to try. He asked me a couple of questions about
what I had in mind and then said, "They sound great. What are
you waiting for?"
Before I knew it, I started telling him a story about all the
things I needed to finish before I could possibly start
implementing any of my ideas. I had a book to write, I had
clients to see, I had meetings to go to and the list went on.
Before I could go very far down that road, my coach stopped me
and asked me again - what was I waiting for?
In that moment, it became very apparent to me just how easily I
could create a very logical story of why I couldn't start
working on my new ideas. There was no real thought, or truth to
my response. I was responding from a place of habit; and had my
coach not challenged me, I would have probably accepted my
responses as fact. And had I done that, who knows whether or not
I would have ever gotten around to trying any of my new ideas.
What Things Are You Putting Off?
How many things in your life - new ideas, trips, classes, etc. -
are you putting off doing because it just isn't quite the right
time? Are you sure that the time isn't right, or are you also
just responding out of habit. I invite you to look carefully the
stories you are telling yourself about why you aren't doing
these things. Do these stories honestly hold water? If not, what
really is truly getting in your way? As I looked more closely at
my own situation and what might be underneath the story I told
my coach, I began to see that there are several reasons why we
might make up excuses and stories in order to procrastinate or
postpone taking action. See if any of these fit for you.
Looking Underneath the Excuses
1. You don't want to do the project, but on some level you feel
you should do it, or have to do it. But instead of clearly
stating how you feel, you circumvent the issue by coming up with
reasons why now is not a good time to start. However, this
approach just leaves you feeling guilty and you still have the
task hanging over our head. If you give yourself permission to
say "No" up front, you would free up a lot of energy that could
be focused towards something you really want to do.
2. You really want to do the project but you don't feel
comfortable taking the time and energy away from other, "more
important" tasks. You feel selfish for focusing on something you
want, so you create stories about why this isn't a good time to
do it. You tell yourself that as soon as everything and everyone
else is taken care of, it will be okay for you to do your thing.
As selfless as this approach sounds, it usually only ends up
with you feeling frustrated and resentful.
3. You really want to do the project but you don't whether
you're up to the task. What if you fail? If you can come up with
logical reasons why you need to put off starting the project,
you can delay the possibility of failing. Unfortunately, with
this approach, you also delay the possibility of succeeding.
4. You really want to do the project but you find yourself
wondering what will happen if you are successful. Maybe it's
that you don't see yourself in terms of being successful and so
the thought of experiencing success could be both frightening
and exciting.
Or it could be that you know you could be successful, but you're
not sure you're ready to embrace the effects your success might
have on your life. You need a little more courage to take this
leap; so in order to give yourself a little more time, you come
up with several things that you need to accomplish before you
take this on this project.
Don't Let Fear Hold You Back
As you can see, there are legitimate fears and concerns that
arise when we think about doing something new or out of the
ordinary. That's the very nature of change. The key is to not
let these issues hold you back from doing what you want and
living your life as fully as possible.
Start paying attention to when you use stories to rationalize
not taking action. When you notice this happening, take a moment
to see if you can uncover the fear or concern that is hiding
underneath the story. Maybe you don't want to do whatever it is,
maybe you are worried about taking time for your own interests,
or maybe you are just experiencing the fear of the unknown.
Whatever the specific issue is, once you bring it out into the
light of day, it will lose its power and you will be free to
move forward with you life.