You might ask yourself, I have heard this word boundary, but I do not know what it means. Boundaries are often mentioned in terms of relationships. Boundaries are a simple concept, but they can vary from person to person. Boundaries essentially keep the good stuff on the inside and the bad stuff on the outside. In the book Making Dating Work Boundaries in Dating, Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend discuss boundaries at length. It is a fabulous book to pick up if you are interested in how boundaries should apply in a relationship.

Now, I just mentioned that everyone has boundaries whether they realize them or not, and they are meant to keep the good stuff on the inside, and the bad stuff on the outside. Now boundaries can keep the good people close to you, and the people that will hurt you away. Think of boundaries as an invisible property line around yourself, and that those boundaries should keep the good things in, and protect you from things you do not want in.

Examples of violations of your person boundaries include: the loss of freedom of oneself, being with the wrong person, control issues, the inability to say no, doing too much within the relationship at the expense of yourself. Boundaries are your beliefs and ideals that make you especially unique. Infringing upon your boundaries only serves to make you an unhappy person.

How do you know what your personal boundaries are? You need to know yourself. Shakespeare said