What's In A Marriage?
You feel giddy all the time. The world has taken on a strange
rosy luster. Nothing makes sense... and everything makes sense.
And you have feelings more profound than you ever knew were
possible to feel.
Is it some kind of dire illness?
No, it's only Love with a capital "L."
And the next letter is obviously Marriage, with a capital "M."
You're both trembling in your boots, but determined this is the
right, the only choice. After all, isn't that what people do?
Like swans, humans around the world tend to bind ourselves to
another for life. We make our forever vows and say the magic
words, "I do," then go off to make a practical life out of the
dream. It's just the way we are, and it works pretty well,
especially to provide a nest for our children.
Inherent in the whole coming together process is the notion that
the love we experience, the tsunami of sensation that swept us
into marriage "till death do us part," will last forever.
What's the truth?
The truth is that, just as we humans do, Love changes its
character over time. Are you the same person you were ten years
ago? Of course not. And yet, in the most fundamental ways, you
are.
It's the same with your Love for each other. Marriages between
two people who really adore each other change their character,
but the original bond, the Love, remains... if it was real to
begin with.
For Love to be real, the most important part of the recipe is
that neither party presents himself or herself as someone they
are not. Obviously, if this kind of subterfuge is engaged in,
the lover has fallen in love with someone who does not exist.
The Love that is the basis of the relationship and the marriage,
therefore, is not real. That marriage is endangered.
Love, true Love, is an elastic thing. Its expression, over time,
invariably becomes less overwhelmingly all-encompassing. We
mellow into another phase, and that's a good thing. Who could
tremble in their boots for a lifetime? Who would want to?
Enter into a conscious, honest marriage, and you have a good
chance of keeping your Love, for the rest of your lives, and
beyond.