You Cant change him - JBC
You Can't Change Him - Stop Trying!
No matter how terrific your spouse may seem, nobody's perfect.
This may seem like an obvious statement, but it is one we often
need to remind ourselves. When we're first in a relationship,
it's easy to put someone on a pedestal. The beginning of a
relationship can be so much fun that it's hard to remember that
your partner must have flaws.
Forgetting that your partner is imperfect, though, can be
dangerous. It makes it hard to keep your expectations on a
realistic level.
No matter how well you get along, there are going to be times
when you disagree. You'll also experience times when your
partner won't understand your side of things. Never assume that
your partner can read your mind.
Communication is the key to keeping things realistic and
functional. Make sure that you understand each other when you're
talking. When you accept that you won't always agree with each
other, but you'll respect each other, you're taking a big step.
Remember, people don't change who they are. They may grow and
evolve, but their personalities remain the same. By the age of
20, the majority of us have developed our full set of beliefs,
values, and personality traits. By believing that you can change
someone, your relationship will be doomed from the beginning.
Think about it, you're expecting a dramatic change from your
partner that you'd never even consider taking on for yourself.
This is simply unfair to your partner.
By doing this, you're essentially getting the relationship off
one-sided. If this is the way things are going, it will never
work.
Since people don't change, it is your responsibility to yourself
and your potential partner to be realistic. Build solid dating
skills that will help you to screen prospective partners. You'll
need to look for people that you won't feel the urge to change.
If a person is compatible from the start, then the odds are that
this person will remain compatible in the future. Keep in mind
that compatible doesn't mean perfect. It just means that the
person has characteristics you enjoy, and that you don't feel
the need to change.
By keeping this in mind, you'll be much more realistic when you
date, and will be much more fair. You'll end up in happier
relationships, and your expectations will be more achievable.
You'll also find that you're much happier with the people you
choose. The stress is much lower when you accept people for who
they are and don't have to remodel them.