Use Anger Productively: A 5 Step Process
Anger is neither good nor bad! It is simply energy.
It is your natural emotional energy that arises when you feel
like something (or someone) is blocking you from getting what
you need or want. For this purpose, anything on the frustration
to rage continuum is considered anger.
Without making any judgments about whether you should need or
want any particular thing, here is how you can direct your own
1. Notice that you're angry. Sometimes it is unmistakable -- if
you didn't restrain yourself you would be yelling or getting
physical -- and getting yourself into trouble. Sometimes it is
more subtle: a clenched jaw that almost feels normal, an ache in
your gut, tight shoulders, or just snapping at people who
haven't done anything wrong.
2. Figure out why you are angry. Again, sometimes it is obvious,
and sometimes it is hidden in a jumble of normal activities.
Perhaps many small frustrations have added up to one massive
3. Think about what would need to change for your angry feelings
to dissolve completely and be replaced with satisfaction.
Sometimes it is a simple as an apology. Sometimes nothing short
of a massive change in your environment will do the trick.
4. Use your energy to strategize how you can arrange to make the
change happen. If the necessary change is too big to manage all
at once, think about a small piece of the bigger change where
you can make an impact now.
5. Take the first step. Maybe it is working on a physical task
for 15 minutes to begin to clean up a mess. Maybe it is asking
someone to do something differently! It doesn't matter how big
or small that first step is-do something now!
Your focused angry energy is powerful. Keep using it to push for
the changes that will make a real difference for you.