From Stress to Serenity: Practical Tips That Really Work
"We see things not as they are, but as we are. What we are, the
world is." -- Krishnamurti
Stress--everyone talks about it, and for good reason. The
national statistics are frightening. It is estimated that 75
percent of all medical complaints are stress-related.
Approximately $15 billion are lost by industry annually because
of stress-related absenteeism. About 5 billion doses of
tranquilizers are prescribed each year. It has long been
believed that stress might contribute to heart disease. Until
recently this notion has been supported only by anecdotes: the
wife who never had a heart problem, but suffered a heart attack
soon after the death of her husband; the surge in heart attacks
after such traumatic experiences as earthquakes or personal
crises. But several medical studies conducted in countries
around the world, including the united States, Israel, and
Sweden, have provided evidence that emotional stress precedes
the onset of heart disease symptoms.
What is stress? This question crystallized for me one day when
two of my patients individually asked me the same question: How
were their highly demanding jobs affecting their health? I
responded with my own question to each of them: "How do you feel
about your job?" The first said, "I hate it! I can't stand the
environment or the people. And my work bores me." The second
answered, "I really like what I do. The atmosphere in the office
is exciting, and the work is challenging. Of course, there are
times when I'd rather be elsewhere, but you can't expect
everything or everybody to be perfect." Needless to say, their
jobs were affecting the health of these two patients very
differently. The first had job stress, while the second had job
satisfaction. What fascinated me most was that these two people
were partners in the same business!
As the above example illustrates, stress is not just "out
there"; it is not simply a result of circumstances. Stress also
depends on how an individual interprets circumstances, on what
your own thoughts and feelings tell you about the circumstances.
If you look at stress from this perspective, you have more
possibilities for dealing with it effectively. You need no
longer be limited to being a victim, and letting a particular
situation control your emotions. It is worthwhile to evaluate
your situation, but if you understand your thoughts and feelings
about it, you can discover sensible approaches to handling
specific problems.
What causes one to view a circumstance as stressful? Generally,
stress is triggered by any situation or event that might appear
to control, limit or undermine your power. Frustration and anger
develop when you sense that you are not getting what you want or
deserve.
People tend to become upset when they feel powerless or
helpless, unable to change their circumstances. Recent research
has shown that hostility in people increases their risks for
heart disease and a heart attack. The Framingham Heart Study
demonstrated not only that high levels of hostility increase the
risk of heart attack, but also that people married to overly
demanding spouses have an increased risk.
Such emotions as anger and hostility, translated into stress and
turned inward, have significant consequences on the body. Stress
brings with it a sense of resistance and diminishment, of
contraction and closing down. When under stress, you may feel
constricted, stuck, and irritable. This is precisely how stress
is communicated to and by your body, especially your
cardiovascular system. How to keep perspective and cope?
Many people tend to become stressed by anticipating being
obsessed with situations over which they have no control.
Whenever such stress-provoking thoughts arise, ask yourself
these questions:
* What is the worst thing that can happen?
* Even if the worst happens, how important will it be to me a
year from now? Five years from now?
* If a friend came to me with this problem, what advice would I
offer?
* How can I change my thoughts and approach the situation more
objectively, more dispassionately?
Take five slow, deep breaths. For each, inhale to a count of 4,
pause for a second, and exhale to a count of 4. As you inhale,
visualize a soothing blue vapor filling your body; as you
exhale, visualize red-hot tension leaving your body. To help
relax, picture a scene in nature, the seashore or mountains.
Imagine its beauty and serenity. When you feel sufficiently
wound down, ask yourself the reality-based questions above.
The key is understanding that it is within your power to control
stress rather than having stress control you.