Does Work/Life Balance Really Exist?
Copyright 2006 Donna Gunter
If you look at almost any issue of nationally published women's
magazines, you'll find article upon article trying to convince
the American public (and American women) that you can have it
all -- a brilliant career/business and a marvelous family life
-- and then follow with instructions on how you can accomplish
this easily.
I am just not buying into this train of thought. In order for
most successful business people to get where they want to be in
their businesses, something has to go. For me, it's been a
personal life. As a single woman of 40 with no children and no
significant other on the horizon, I've got much more flexibility
than most. I can make a conscious decision to forego some aspect
of my life on a shorter-term basis to reach my goals. Most of us
aren't quite that lucky, however. You have children you have to
get dressed and to school each day, or a spouse who needs more
attention than just daily feeding and watering, or an elderly
family member whose health might be failing. leaving you with
caretaking responsibilities.
What we all need is a really great wife. Now, before all the
women seek to lynch me, think about it for a moment. Wouldn't it
be great to have a June Cleaver at home taking care of the
children and all the household responsibilities, which would
leave you with the freedom to do what you needed to do to get
your business where it needs to be? No more worries about
getting the kids to soccer practice or packing for that trip to
Baltimore or having to come home and fix dinner after a very
long day at work? Great fantasy, isn't it?
So, given the reality that the "wife store" is permanently out
of stock, how do today's business owners still achieve the
objectives of their business without ending up in divorce court
or having an emotional meltdown? I've discovered the hard way
that being selfish is the key. Yep, that good ole' selfish word
-- the word our mothers have led us to believe was associated
with being uncaring and unfeeling of others. For me, that
translates into weekends that I spend alone engaged in
activities that I enjoy. Sure, it's difficult to turn off
business, and it can be a challenge to turn down invitations
with friends, and some weekends I'm more successful than others.
But as a card-carrying INFP on the Myers-Briggs scale, I know
that I can tolerate only so much of being around other people at
networking events, meetings, classes, and etc., and I have to
recharge and get grounded again in order to get up and do it
again on Monday morning. So, I spend my weekends going to
festivals, the museum, a great movie, out to eat at a favorite
restaurant, or reading a new book.
I will guarantee you that if you are not getting your needs met
and engaging in active self-care, you won't be pleasant to be
around. I've been there, done that, bought the T-shirt, and
moved on. Do yourself and your family a favor -- figure out what
self-care means to you and strategize with your spouse or
significant other about how you can achieve that without unduly
burdening other family members. It's all about taking care of
you--if you're not willing to do that, who will?