AS THE OLD YEAR FADES, SO DOES MY MEMORY
Memory is a very tricky thing, at least for me it is. Looking back, over a year's span of activity my memory seems to pick and choose what it remembers. It amazes me not so much what a person remembers but what a person forgets.
Often some old-timer will moan about how much he misses the good old days. I'm not sure if he is thinking of World War II or the great Depression. I'm positive that during the great Depression some wonderful memories were created, but I'm not sure anyone wants to return to those thrilling days of yesterday.
The bad was not as bad as we remember and the good was not as good as we boast.
Some things are best forgotten and some things should never be forgotten; my trouble has always been remembering which is which. (Personally, I don't know the difference between "which" and "that.")
Several things about the old year bear serious consideration. The past year, in my opinion, was not just one year but several years flowing together. Sometimes I'm not sure which year I lived.
The year 2004, like all its brothers before it, actually consisted of three years.
First, there is the year that really was. "Just the facts, ma'am."
I'm a little fuzzy about this one. For one thing, looking at my checkbook entries (at least the ones I remembered to enter) the past year was a completely different one than I recall.
I really do not recollect having all the fun indicated by my bank statement. Why is it that no matter how much money I put into my bank account, more money comes out.
Evidently, some phantom creature has access to my checkbook.
President Ronald Reagan was accused of voodoo economics. Reviewing my bank statements, I could be accused of "Who-do" economics.
My income tax statement is another perplexity. I can never figure it out. If the government said I made that much money, I must have made that much money and owe that much in taxes.
Speaking of the government, what I don't understand is how they know how much I owe, to the penny, along with millions of other Americans and cannot find Osama bin Laden. I know exactly how to solve this conundrum.
One surefire way of finding him is leaking to the government that Osama bin Laden owes taxes and he will be caught before April 15, guaranteed.
Second, there is the year I re-member.
By Rev. James L. Snyder
This year is much shorter than the previous one, for some odd reason. The year I remember had only two months; this month and last month. And believe me, "last month" is a stretch for me.
Honestly, I remember paying the electric bill, contrary to what the electric company says. My problem with the electric company is that during the space of a year they send me 12 bills and I can only remember two.
They penalize me for screwing up but they do not credit my account when they screw up