-- Collected, compiled and cranked out by "The Quipping Queen" for your amusement and delight --
As the ho ho ho season rolls around, one is reminded of some very wicked words from a few wise men, a smattering of witty women, and a handful of weird wee folk who wish to remain anonymous.
"A Merry Christmas to all my friends except two." (W.C. Fields)
"I am a poor man, but I would gladly give ten shillings to find out who sent me the insulting Christmas card I received this morning." (George and Weedon Grossmith, The Diary of a Nobody, 1894)
"Christmas, that time to of year when people descend into the bunker of the family." (Byron Rogers, Daily Telegraph, 27 December 1993)
"There are some people who want to throw their arms round you simply because it is Christmas; there are other people who want to strangle you simply because it is Christmas." (Robert Lynd,