Disclaimer:Diet Pepsi Does Not Make You Hip
Today there was a grand opening to the newest Wally World in the area so I figured what the hell and went to see what of course was yet another same old Wal-Mart. Of course since it was the first day there were people giving out free shit like ice cream, energy drink, and even beef jerky.That is freaking awesome man,free beef jerky is like getting a free blowjob on a hookers first day on the job.It's really a cool thing to walk up and be able to eat beef jerky in the store without being called a thief.
Back to my story,there was a couple stands set up outside,but what I saw next to them almost made me want to go into Wal-Mart,buy a sledge hammer, and come out swinging it like a mad man. I saw a Diet Pepsi truck, but not just any old Diet Pepsi truck. This was a Jet Black truck with fucking spinners on it. Yes,fucking spinners on the pepsi truck. Not only that,but the truck had two huge sets of speakers on each side of it. They were all blasting shitty music through the whole parking lot. It was a really shitty moment for me.
This terrible moment in the parking lot leads people to believe they will be "Hip" and "Cool" by drinking Diet Pepsi. Hell P Diddy did the ad so it must be cool right? Let me level with you, P. Diddy drinks loads of alcohol and bangs hos all day, the only reason he did an ad for Diet Pepsi is because they paid the mother fucker enough. Not only that,but Diet Pepsi tastes like regular Pepsi, minus all of the flavor it has.
People will never get it,there's no such thing as a diet cola that tastes just like the other stuff. If you want the good shit you're just going to have to drink it and risk being a fat bitch the rest of your life. That and risk losing your teeth. So lets just face it,Diet Pepsi is not cool,it's not good,and it damn sure won't get you any action if a girl drinks too much of it.Is there any reason to even buy this shit?
About the Author
The Epic is owner and founder of a personal site called The Epic Zone at theepiczone.com