Sales Letter Readability: Improve Your Response Rates
Conversationally (Free Sample Included).
I am doing what you do, sitting at my computer, trying to get my
thoughts out of my head and into a written form that will help
you make a decision. In this particular case, I am trying to
write a few intelligent remarks about sounding conversational on
paper. You know, how to write a sales letter that sounds like it
came from the mind of a person and not an institution.
I suppose the first thing I can tell you is that you should
write the way you talk, unless, of course, you talk in halting
sentences punctuated with "ya knows" and "like, you know what I
mean?"
And if you usually write sales letters that are signed by
someone else, your marketing manager, for example, then you need
to write the way that person speaks.
The secret to sounding personal and conversational on paper is
to imagine that you are actually having a conversation with your
customer or prospect. A back-and-forth exchange where your
reader asks questions and you supply answers. That way, your
letter sounds like it is written by a living, breathing person,
since it addresses issues that are important to the reader, and
does so in a warm, lively style.
Which reminds me, try to keep your sentences short. Not like
the one that ended the last paragraph.
What else can I tell you? Rhetorical questions are one device
at your disposal. Rhetorical questions, as I am sure you know,
are questions that are asked for rhetorical effect, not
expecting an answer. You can use one or two in your letter if
you like. Rhetorical questions create the sense that a
conversation is taking place between you and your prospect or
customer.
I don't have to tell you that another way to sound
conversational is to use the first person a lot. That means you
say, "Your business means a lot to me," instead of saying "Your
business means a lot to us," or, even worse, "Purchases made by
your company are appreciated by my firm." Remember, business
people buy from people, not businesses, so you want to sound
like a business person, not an impersonal business, when you
write your sales letters.
I just thought of another one. Without being fake or insincere,
mention that you thought of your client today, or yesterday, or
recently, showing that there is a relationship between the two
of you. Naturally, only say "I was thinking of you this morning"
if you actually were. Otherwise you will be making stuff up.
You may be relieved to know that you can be colloquial, too,
which is a humdinger of a way to establish rapport and sound
genuine. If your buyers know what a humdinger is, then by all
means throw one into your letters at least once a year.
Your goal in all of this, if I may say so, is to sound
authentic without being overly familiar or coarse.
Another way to sound conversational is to be open in the way
you talk about things. Give your customers a glimpse into what
life is like at your organization.
You probably want an example of what I mean, so here it is
(here are two examples, actually):
Commercial-ese: "Shipments are dispatched from our warehouse in
a timely and an efficient manner in accordance with our ISO 9000
designation."
Conversational: "Our warehouse manager, Bob Fletcher, will make
sure your shipment is headed towards your plant by end of day
today."
Commercial-ese: "Our sales department is in receipt of your
order of Jan 23."
Conversational: "Kathryn in our sales office told me about your
recent order. Thanks for your repeat business, Alan!"
Another sure way of avoiding "bureaucratic-speak" is to say
everything in the active voice. Don't say "money is saved" when
you can say "you save money." Avoid writing "operating costs are
reduced" when you can instead write "we reduce your operating
costs." See the improvement? Passive voice sounds institutional.
Active voice sounds conversational.
I suppose if you went back to the start and began reading this
message again, you'd pick up a few methods that I did not
mention (using parentheses like this, for example, which looks
as though you are lowering your voice and whispering a piece of
inside information to your reader).
I hope that these tips help you write effective sales letters.
Ones that come from your heart, and are effective mainly for
that very reason.