Everything I Need To Know I Learned From Drinking Coffee

After analyzing over 17,000 Dutch men and women, researchers recently concluded that those who drank seven or more cups of coffee a day were half as likely to develop type 2 diabetes than those who drank two cups or less. The study was led by Rob van Dam while at the Dutch National Institute for Public Health and Environment in Bilthoven. Order another espresso for Mr. von Dam, please, while I finish my double cappuccino and expound on the array of knowledge learned from my bottomless-cup-of-coffee:

Good friendships are like good coffee; strong, stimulating, and addictive.

Coffee is a comfort food in nearly every culture. Therefore, travel the globe, drink espresso, and make international friends. Do your part for world peace.

Sleep is a side effect of caffeine deprivation. Drink coffee now.

Always tip generously at the coffee counter. They