Hand me my Thongs!

When I was a fart, thongs were somewhat different to what they are now.

As I understood it, thongs were made of steel, cast iron and brass.
I remember using my neighbours thongs on a regular basis, to put coal into the fire. I also remember using the very same thongs to put ice into vodkas and other beverages, excluding hot whiskeys.

Now if I'm to believe the younger generations, then thongs are now used to re-arrange the genitals within various garments.
I don't know what they are made from but would suspect that cast iron would harldy be comfortable, whatever about suitable.
Brass thongs would be a bit on the cold side, I'd say. (I had a scratching experience once, but will live with the itch from then, on). I don't even know why genital arrangement is so important.
And I can't even understand why thongs have become such a fashion statement, whatever that is.

I even have some concerns about certain re-arrangements of one's bits and pieces, and then dispatching ice with the very same apparatus. Surely it must be unhygenic whatever that is as well.

It gets worse when you hear stories of edible thongs and while I've probably ate worse, my teeth would no longer be able for the hard and soft mixtures of brass and lice.

But that's just me and my history of assorted diets.

Other generations can arrange what they want, eat all associated tooling, and advertize the fact even.

Thick Mick.

About the Author

Thick Mick is an "expert" columnist on historical matters or Back Passage material, with www.TheTrivialTimes.com.
You must forgive him his many memory inconsistencies.