If the Wedding Crasher Comes
Copyright 2006 Richard Keir
Movies quite naturally use nearly every aspect of our lives and
traditions - often in odd ways. "The Wedding Crashers" - a pair
of divorce mediators - crash weddings to find available women
high on romance for one-night stands. Probably works better than
lurking by the vegetable section. It was a most successful movie
and it highlights an issue that few couples look at seriously:
Just what do you do if a wedding crasher shows up?
For most weddings this is fairly low probability event, but it
does happen. Receptions held in hotels and resorts with public
traffic and often multiple simultaneous events can draw the
simply curious as well as those looking for free drinks and food
and a convivial atmosphere. They can also draw a variety of
criminals more interested in what's in people's pockets or in
making off with some of the gifts.
Another category is the ex-lover with a grudge who's over the
edge enough to cause a major scene or worse.
You should evaluate your situation to decide just how seriously
you need to take the issue of security. If one of you has a
problem with an ex-lover, talk it over and decide whether
there's a possible threat warranting hiring security. Perhaps
having several friends aware of the problem and staying alert
for trouble is all that's required.
You need to remember that you aren't going to be thinking about
crashers or other security problems and you shouldn't have to.
All you really may need is to have several people who can - and
will - be able to ensure that everyone attending was invited.
Checking that attendees have invitations may be useful. Having a
guest book for everyone to sign as they arrive creates another
security barrier.
Obviously the best way to deal with this is before a crasher
gets inside. Few churches have security personnel and generally
there's no reason. Crashers at the wedding itself can be usually
be seated in back and basically ignored.
Depending on where you are holding your wedding reception,
security may be provided or at least available quickly. So under
most circumstances quickly notifying security and quietly asking
the crasher to leave will solve the problem with little or no
fuss.
However, if you have reason to believe that there may be a
serious threat of disruption or violent behavior (that annoying
and slightly psycho ex, maybe?), then consider hiring an
off-duty policeman or going to a private security firm. A
uniformed security officer is a powerful deterrent which won't
add much to your costs while the peace of mind it can offer is
priceless.
Finally, to remove the temptation to swipe your gifts, you may
want to have a specific area where guests place them. An area
which is neither easily accessible to any non-invitees in the
building nor obviously in plain sight. Unfortunately, this goes
slightly counter to some practices where the gifts are
essentially "on-display". If that's a part of your plan,
remember that the location should only be accessible to your
guests and it should be easily monitored.
Thinking and planning for crashers and security is unpleasant in
the context of a joyful event like a wedding celebration. Some
thought may convince you that this isn't an issue you need to
worry about. But if you do foresee possible problems, take care
of preparing for it well in advance and then let whoever will be
watching for crashers or handling security do the worrying while
you relax, enjoy and do the wedding.