IT'S SEPTEMBER SILLY!

Or, 30 thrilling things to do this month!

Compiled by Lady Beatrice Blitterlees and edited by Lord Earl Craboon

September is the 9th month of the year. No one has a clue why they call it "Sept"ember meaning "seventh" in French, instead of "Neuf" meaning "ninth".

Obviously "The Association for the Correct Name of Things" hasn't got around to fixing this error. They have many more important things to do, such as coming up with a name for the newest planet in the solar system.

Anyway, "neuf" or not, remember to get the little nippers off to school on time, and then hot-foot into work with a perky smile on your face before your boss hands you a pink slip this month.

Well now that we've got all that yucky-pooh stuff out of the way, we can all begin to have some fun. After all, we've only got another couple of months before celebrating Halloween, Thanksgiving and the biggest gift-giving bonanza of them all!

In the meantime, we'll just practice our prattle n' puck skills this month just to limber up for the good times ahead.

So without further whatnot and wherefore, just join in and have a ball over the next 30 days doing what comes naturally.

SNICKERING EVENTS & CELEBRATIONS FOR THE MONTH OF SEPTEMBER

September 1: National No Footwear Day (Sponsored by the "Kid-in-All-Of-Us" & "Pleasure-Seeking Podiatrists Association of America")

September 2: Virgo Appreciation Day (Time to honor all those cranky, dogmatic, eccentric, over-demanding, prudish, untidy yet earthy potted plant lover types you know)

September 3: Ever Wonder What the Romans Did When the Coliseum Was Closed Day (An excellent time to design & build your fuel-efficient soap-box derby vehicle)

September 4: National Back-To-School Pencil Sharpening Tournament (A "must" for every parent, student, and teacher