My Baloney Has a First Name and Other Shallow Thoughts

The tobacco industry must be stopped. I've felt that way ever since I quit smoking.

No one should have to suffer from Alzheimer's with memory prices so low.

Nothing slows you down more than your cat catching a paw in your laser printer.

My baloney has a first name, it's f-a-t-t-y.

My wife washed my Odor Eaters, and put Bounce in the dryer. You should see the way I walk now.
Yesterday one of the new guys winked at me.

My bank says it will soon be paperless. I'm not intimidated -- gas station restrooms have been paperless for years.

I made a killing in the market. The farmers market. I ran over a chicken.

Should you feel special if your dog can do a great impression of Yoko Ono?

What are your chances of success if you post a flyer in the barn seeking a ribeye donor?

Would anybody like to buy my used electricity for half price?

What if you got away from it all and there was no place to stay?

Now that Madonna is middle-aged, do you suppose she still buys underwear that has to be polished

About the Author

Joe Hickman is editor at --